TOUCH THIS WALL FOUL!

I've told a few stories about my great friend Ralph.  If any of you were to meet him today, there is not one of you who would not say "Gosh, he is so nice." That is because he is so nice. He is a great man. A best friend. You would say "He is so polite. Engaging. A nice person." Again, that is all true. Ralph is the glue in our band of friends. When I talk to anyone else (Dan, Delmer, Jimmy, Adrian, etc.) the question is always "What's Ralph up to?" A big part of that is because Ralph and I talked very regularly.  The biggest part is because of who he his. Not a man among us wouldn't step in front of a bus or give up a kidney for the man you would meet. But then again, that's the Ralph you would meet. Not the Ralph we know.

Ralph as a young man was extremely competitive. He knocked a board game away from me when we were 10 or 11 because I was winning. He hated to lose. I do as well. It's one of our many bonds. Quick to fire, as easily quick to cool off.

 Delmer and I were talking a couple years ago. Delmer and Ralph were roommates through college at Eastern Montana College and Country Club. It was called that because you really didn't have to go to class, or read or take tests actually. Just pay your tuition and get a degree. It was one of "those" schools. Anyway Delm and I were talking and a conversation we had inspired this post.

Just a quick story, kind of

So, I'm sitting in Ohare in Chicago waiting for my flight to Fargo yesterday. A friend of mine texts me a picture of his brother-in-law, who I went to high school with and is still a great friend, sitting behind home plate at the Cubs game I was watching at Ohare's Bar and Grill. A great place.  Corona is only $8.25 a bottle there with tax.  It's $7.50 a six pack at the little grocery store in my subdivision, but anyway.  I called Len after the game and he was flying out of Ohare.  He gets through security and ends up in my terminal only 10 gates from me.  We meet up and I said, "Who would have ever thought to poor boys from Malta would be having a drink together in Ohare?'  We had a glass and I waited for him at his gate.

We lamented about the labors of flying, the waiting, etc.  How it's a pain in the ass to fly alone because if you have to go to the bathroom you have to take everything with you but then Len had a great quote. 

"I like to fly.  It's the best way to get from here to there. And, I really like getting to THERE." It was well put.

My flight that was cancelled at 3:50 didn't leave until 9:30.  I flew to Fargo, jumped in a one ton flatbed and drove it home as we need the truck in Helena.  746 miles from the hotel to my driveway.  746 miles and I crossed one state line.  I stopped for fuel twice (had a quick burger on one of them) took three short naps and made it home in 12 hours.

This post won't be tagged with "who's luckier than me?"

Yes, it's kind of late

Played pool league tonight and finally got off the snide.  Had been shooting great all year but the last two weeks had gone 0-6. Went 2 for 3 tonight.

Had a guy pull right out in front of me in the way to town tonight.  Didn't have to lock up the brakes but it was close. It got me to thinking.

I was a young kid, only twelve and working at the ranch. It was my fifth time horseback.  I was riding Bookeeper, a pale buckskin.  All the times I had been riding before that was just checking on cows.  This day we were gathering the Dyer Coulee pasture (from the poem). I didn't know what I was doing. Just trailing some cows and calves into a bunch so Ranch Dad could work them.  This calf broke back and Bookeeper was on him trying to turn him to the herd. The calf dove and Bookeeper made a hard turn to put him back. When Bookeeper turned, so did my saddle.

I wasn't quite upside down but his hooves were inches from my face. Honestly. I blew the stirrups and let go of the saddle horn and just tried to get out of the way. I landed in sagebrush and dirt. No cactus. I wasn't scared (I was more scared shooting a tough eight ball tonight, which I made BOOYAH) and didn't know any better. When brother Leo cinched up my saddle, you could hear the air leave Bookeeper's lungs. It was tight. After that, Leo taught me how to cinch my own saddle. He had always done it before then. I was a small kid, but he showed me a trick to get it tight. Not to tight. But tight enough I never had that happen. I ended up being an OK cowboy.

Here's my point. I've been in three car crashes. None of which were my fault but all were violent.  No one was hurt in any of them which I'm grateful for in all respects. The thing is this, my Guardian Angel works overtime. He is a first ballot Hall-of-Famer. He's kept me out of the ditch as recently as last weekend when EJ and I were on some icy slopes looking at some property. I stopped on a very gently incline. We were looking at the map as to where we wanted to go and I looked up and we were sliding. I hit the brake and it wasn't working. I had just put my truck into four-wheel drive and something made me take my foot of the brake and punch it. The truck wheeled away from the ditch and we were safe. All the me G.A!! When I go, whoever gets him should be as thankful as I am.

I have a great life.

You're State Champs are.............

The Malta Mustangs!!! 67-62.  A great title game.  I honestly feel bad that Manhattan lost because they are a great team.  What sucks for them is that their three losses this season are in the last three tournaments, all in title games.  Gotta hurt. They say that defense wins championships and tonight was the proof.  Malta was down five at half and put the full court press on in the second half.  Manhattan had trouble breaking it all night and couldn't find their half court offense.  Malta created some great turnovers and played their half court offense almost perfect.  If these teams met nine more times I think it would be 5 and 5. 

Next week the girls basketball team goes for the third title in six years.  I know that you are all on the edge of your seat to find out how they do.

Love my Malta teams.

In the Chipper!!

The Mustangs came back from a ten point deficit in the fourth quarter last night and controlled the semi-final game tonight to meet the top ranked Manhattan Tigers in tomorrow's state class B championship.  I don't know if the game is going to be carried live on ESPN but you can always stream it live on KMMR, the voice of the Mustangs.

I'll be honest.  Malta will have a hard time tomorrow.  Manhattan is a great team.  Lots of talent and very well coached.  Their coach, Mike Woodman, led Malta to a state championship in 1985.  He knows basketball. Still, I'll be there out of my seat on every great play and yelling on every bad call. I just won't yell "BULLSHIT!!" like I did tonight once. Not that the call wasn't complete bullshit, I just won't do it. That's my vow to you.

And now, some videos.

HAHAHAHAH, just kidding.

Don't bug me when I'm eating

It’s a tough world.  The challenges of the new job are formidable but I’m still liking it very much.  Having worked for one man for 17 years and having free reign on almost everything I did, it’s a challenge to have, well, rules.  I don’t mind the rules it’s just that there are a lot of them and no real manual.  Still the cooperation I’m getting when I need it is good and helping me to succeed. 

I drive to Williston, ND every other week.  475 miles one way and I only cross one state line. The crew here is in the same boat as I am. They are all new Titan employees as this location only opened in January.  The entire staff is great and they give my all the help I ask for.  There is also a former ABC employee here so that is a tremendous help as well.  All in all, good things.

Random thoughts #24

Things that crossed my mind while wondering if Ralph will ever admit I let him tie me in the alumni wrestling tournament. ( I could have crushed him, just for the record ).

1) I went to Salt Lake City to watch my beloved Bobcats play the Utes in both teams opening game.  The Cats gave up 17 quick points to the 28th ranked Utes and settled down to only lose 27-10.  This is game one of my "perfect season" with the Bobcats. I have every intention of being at every game.  As a season ticket holder the home games are a given. Every game is 6-7 hours driving distance from Bozeman with the exception of Portland State which I've take an extra day from work to drive to.  If you're a sports fan, keep track of this team. Something tells me this season is going to be special. That's why I'm going to every game.  I could be wrong and if I am, it will still be a great thing to do.

The End of the Argument

Malta is the Center of the Universe.  I say that now and always will. For more affirmation you can watch this.
It's pretty much magnificent (the video I mean).  I'd say more but humility is getting in the way.  Here's my story.  i was sending my brother's kids their birthday presents.  I went to the UPS Store with the girls' dolls (poop and pee babys "Uncle Chip. We want poop and pee babys.)  Now, when you have twin nieces, you have to send every package separately.

The young man behind the counter had a name tag that read "Jake".  "Where are these going?" He asked. I gave him the address and said Malta 59538.  He starts to type into the computer and looks at me and asks "Are you from Malta?"  "Yes I am" I replied, "Are you?"  "No, but my family is from there."   "Really, who are they?" I asked. He told me his grandparents and said their name. "I'm Maynard's oldest grandson."  I looked at him and asked "Which of his kids are you from?"  He answered "Renee".  I just swelled up and said "I went to first Communion with your mom. I've known her my entire life.  She is a doll."  I had just got off the phone with Ralph. I told young Jake, "I was just talking to a guy whose dad was best friends with your grandfather." I called Ralph to tell him that the man handling my packages was Renee's son.

That's how it works. When you say you're from Malta you get those questions.

So here's the deal.  When someone asks any of you where you're from, just tell them you're from Malta. When they throw out a name, just tell them you know Chip.  Well, if they're over fourty you can say that. If they're younger than that, then to hell with em. GET OFF MY LAWN!!

Friday thoughts

I really need a secretary to ride with me when I'm on the road.  Kind of like Van Wilder. "Write that down."  Honestly, my head is going 90 miles an hour when I'm driving.  So here's some stuff.

1) Why did Obama want to be president?  It's a "leadership" position.  He never voted as a state senator or as a US Senator. He is incapable of making a stand. Where I come from the term is "gutless".  I never thought I would wish for Hillary to be our leader.

2) If I saw Harry Reid in a bar or at a restaurant or on the steps of the Capitol Building, I'd challenge him to a boxing match.  They keep talking about how he was a boxer so that makes him a "fighter". All I see is a spineless wimp who would hide behind his wife in a home invasion.

A mixed tribute band

So when I was home for the 30th Greg gave me a CD.  Here is how cool Greg is.  We haven't hardly talked to each other in years. He's on the reunion committee. Helps put the best of the three we've had together. Knows I'm going to be there and when I showed up at his coffee joint/photograph studio he gives me a CD and says "Chip, I know you will really like these guys. They put an 80's song with a 70's song and make it great." He is soooooooooooo right.  Here for you followers is Rock Sugar.  By the way, Rock Sugar will be at Rockin the Rivers along with PAT BENATAR!!  MRM will be hanging with Greg and catching up with his life. This would be a GREAT place for a blog summit.  Get your collective shit act together and come to Montana. I'm not gonna beg. It's not my style. Please oh please come out. Buzz, grab Mrs. Buzz and the Eagle Scout and get your country ass out here.  You'll sell your house and build a nice leantoo.  Sorry for calling you out but you're an eastcoaster. Come see the mountains.   Here's Rock Sugar.

.

By the way, I think I'm getting the new format figured out. You all can be the judge

Kind of random thoughts and some blather

Just some things that crossed my mind with all the windshield time I've been having.

1)  For years conservatives have been saying how Social Security is bankrupt.  Every time a conservative pundit or legislator has made that statement, the left has retorted that SS is fine. It's solvent. It's not bankrupt. It's not full of IOU's.  If that is the case as they claim why are they saying that if the debt ceiling isn't raised, that SS checks will be late or not coming at all?  If SS has it's own money, shouldn't that be least of their worries.  But no.  Now that the government doesn't have enough money, SS checks will be the first thing that doesn't show up. Who's fooling who here and why can't the general public figure this out?

2) The government spends more than they take in and they've been doing that for more than a while now.  Barry complains that "the rich aren't paying their fair share".  Here's my analogy to what he is saying.  I have a job. I'm spending more than I make.  My boss is giving me money but I spend more than he is giving me.  Now I go to my boss and say "I need more money.  You have it. I'm irresponsible but you have it so give it to me so I can continue to spend more than I have." It's the same thing. We don't need to "raise revenue".  I'm sorry but I'm going to go off a little here.  I hate the fucking double speak that these miserable pricks are using.  It infuriates me that they use it. What infuriates me more is that, sorry to quote Bill Maher here but I have to, this country is to fucking stupid.

Some thoughts from my reunion

Wow, am I out of touch or did blogger really change?  It's taken me ten minutes to figure out how to make a new post.  I guess that's what I get for being a crummy poster.

My reunion was awesome as I knew it would be.  So many people showed up. Close 39 or 40 of the surviving 60 of 62.  I was thrilled and honored to be able to share a few words with these people that mean so much to me.


I think my speech went alright.  The introduction that Greg gave me was beyond phenomenal.  He set the bar very high and I wish it had been recorded.  Such kind words.  I can hardly wait to se him again at Rocking the Rivers.  I would link it but don't know how on this format. (Honestly, I don't have a tool bar or anything that looks remotely familiar.  I guess I'll have to to some research.  Anyway, here's my presentation to my lifelong friends.  I hope you like it.

EDITL OK, maybe I just found the tool bar but the video must be to new because it still isn't showing up. Regardless, I hate the new format.  "Hey you kids!! Get off my lawn"  God how I hate being old and grumpy.

A quick word

Tomorrow I head for home.  JR is flying in from Hawaii and I pick him up at 3:30.  I haven't seen him since our 10 year reunion.  Called him two months ago and told him to get his ass home for the 30th and now he's on his way.

Practiced my presentation about five times tonight.  I just hope it's not a mess.  I like it on my laptop which I will use though it is a little "teleprompterish" for me. Went into Macy's to find a nice "Mustang Blue" colored tie and well, $164 dollars later, I'll be looking good on Saturday.

I'm ALL IN for a blog summit in Malta.  It's me and Pam so far.  Lets make it happen people.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=144887372207520&view=wall&notif_t=event_wall

Like sand through the hourglass

What a great week.  I don't have to go anywhere.  For the first time in three weeks I get to spend every night in my own bed.  The temperaturer finally broke 80.  I got to wear shorts playing golf.  I had a letter to the editor printed (making me 10 for 11 letters printed vs submitted).  But here's the highlight.  You all know how much Malta means to me and how great my friends are.  Two weeks from now, I will be attending my high school 30th class reunion. I know that you are all shocked that, given the maturity of my posts, I've been out of school that long, but it's true.  Last night, the reunion committee called.  They were having trouble coming up with a keynote speaker and someone suggest having me get up and talk.  I told them I would do it if they couldn't find anyone else and this morning my agent said I was booked. 

I'm not gonna lie.  I'm thrilled to be able to stand in front of all these great people and tell them my take on Malta, life and our great class.  I will be working hard to put it together and keep it under two hours.

After the jump you can read the op-ed by dipshit John Baden that fired me up to write my letter to the ed.  I hope you all enjoy it.

I guess I'm a Friday poster now

Hello followers of the drivel (yes Karl, the drivel. Thank you for thinking its more than that by the way).

Let me try to get you all caught up on things here in the Gallatin Valley.  Last Sunday I left for Williston, ND.  Spent the night in Miles City.  Every creek (we prounounce that word "crick" for the record) was out of it's banks. Every little stream that flowed water was swelled.  Bismark, ND is flooding as we speak. So is the town of Roundup, MT. My heart breaks for those people.  I've driven through Roundup more times than I can count. The Musselshell is a soft slow moving river, much like the Milk River.  To see this small town get hit this hard, is honestly breaking my heart.  Joplin, MO has me down as well.  I've often wondered why tornadoes have never hit towns of any sigficant size and when they have, have been so brief in reality compared to what Joplin suffered.  Still over 1200 people missing.  So sad.  Montana has never in my lifetime had the flooding we are enduring now.  It brings things into perspective.  We here in Montana have watched many, many times as other places have been hit with this disaster but have been fortunate to not have to feel the pain.  We do now.

Time for a parody

Here's a little tune I wrote on my way to Sheridan.  It's for the LBOHers.  It's to the tune of "Galveston" with sincere apologies to Glen Campbell

DELMYSPUDS

Delmyspuds oh Delmyspuds
You only take ten pounds of potatahs
Butter and onions and sweet Velveeta
And you gotta where gloves
When you cook Delmyspuds

Delmyspuds oh Delmyspuds
I don't think you're good for my cholesteral
Always double the aluminum foil
Skeets will eat the crisp ones
Cause he loves Delmyspuds

I can smell you cooking by the fire
As Skeets says Jeter's overrated
Just shut up and get my food plated
Another time he's not right, but it's not the first one

Delmyspuds oh Delmyspuds
Slice them thin cause they cook so much better
Always remember you can't use to much butter
But they give Jim the runs
So he can't eat Delmyspuds

MRM 5/13/11

In the COTU

Just sitting at Delmer's having a glass of Mist and watching the tube.  Played 27 today with Delm. Was late for dinner at Mom's because she forgot to tell me so she was not upset.  Had a great visit with my mom.  We sat and talked for almost two hours and the conversation was excellent (no politics, she's a democrat so I'm kind of a disappointment in that regard). She is doing fine and looks good for going on 80 this November.

I had two of my brother's kids with me for 18 holes and they were a treat.  Told them you can't talk when Delm and I are standing over our golf balls and they followed that to the letter.  They were a little upset that I wasn't staying at their house tonight (staying with Delmer) but told them I'll be there tomorrow.  I've already convinced them they are Bobcat fans.  It wasn't that hard as their mother and her brother both are, but tomorrow they become Cincinnati Reds fans as well.  Have to get them while they are young.

I love Malta.  It's the greatest place on Earth and last night Delmer and I visited the town and had a great time.  It's funny how I only come home four or five times a year, but every bartender knows what I drink.  Imagine that.

Spending tomorrow with mom and then teaching the kids about baseball.  It will be great day.  I'll get my camera out for the trip to Williston on Monday.  To appease the masses.

Forget Ralph

Ralph and I talked tonight. He questioned my drinking ability.  Really?  We are in our late 40's and you're still throwing this out? Why? Because you had two beers with Marlo and now you think you can party? How dare you condescend to me!  How many nights of me kisssing you on the forehead will it take for you to know that you can't keep up with me (again we're straight, despite what my drunken typing may imply. Yes, I've kissed Ralph on the forehead on numerous accasions, he can't hold his sauce). Talk is cheap you little dwarf. Delmer just moved into "best friend" position. We talked for two hours and it was kind and gracious. Much unlike the our talk before that. OK, maybe that is just the Crown.  No offense Delmer. You'res still way up there Delmy. I'm still thinking about that rock fight we had with the Webbs back in the day. You were on the wrong side of the fence that day and forgiveness isn't really an option. ya feelin me? Ralph wins. Thems just the rules Holmes. Catholics and all.

Songs on my way to work

I've been thinking about starting a daily feature where I put up a video of the best song that I heard on my casual 15 minute commute to work every day.  Then I thought "what the hell are you thinking about?  You can't do a daily meme/theme whatever deal.  You barely participate in Haiku Monday, it took every ounce of creativity you had to host Movie Clip Wednesday and now you want to have a DAILY post? Pull your head out of your ass!"  Ah, the voice of reason.  So seldom does it make an appearance that I barely recognize it.

More after the jump

Haiku Monday "Signs"

Going home

The Robinson Bridge
Then Alkali creek, soon mean
Entering Malta