TOUCH THIS WALL FOUL!

I've told a few stories about my great friend Ralph.  If any of you were to meet him today, there is not one of you who would not say "Gosh, he is so nice." That is because he is so nice. He is a great man. A best friend. You would say "He is so polite. Engaging. A nice person." Again, that is all true. Ralph is the glue in our band of friends. When I talk to anyone else (Dan, Delmer, Jimmy, Adrian, etc.) the question is always "What's Ralph up to?" A big part of that is because Ralph and I talked very regularly.  The biggest part is because of who he his. Not a man among us wouldn't step in front of a bus or give up a kidney for the man you would meet. But then again, that's the Ralph you would meet. Not the Ralph we know.

Ralph as a young man was extremely competitive. He knocked a board game away from me when we were 10 or 11 because I was winning. He hated to lose. I do as well. It's one of our many bonds. Quick to fire, as easily quick to cool off.

 Delmer and I were talking a couple years ago. Delmer and Ralph were roommates through college at Eastern Montana College and Country Club. It was called that because you really didn't have to go to class, or read or take tests actually. Just pay your tuition and get a degree. It was one of "those" schools. Anyway Delm and I were talking and a conversation we had inspired this post.

I didn't know Baxter

I don't go out much on Wednesday. No drink special at the Grantree (my haunt) it's mid week. Nothing really to do.

I started stopping at Boxer's Lounge ( not our Boxer I don't think but maybe? She can confirm.) this past summer. Went in there in July on a non-North Dakota trip for something different. Well it turns out that a lot of guys I know in Belgrade stop there on Wednesday so I would pop in on occasion and tip a few with them. My banker, a couple of guys I play golf league with, people I know. Anyway, its always a nice evening.

Friday thoughts

I really need a secretary to ride with me when I'm on the road.  Kind of like Van Wilder. "Write that down."  Honestly, my head is going 90 miles an hour when I'm driving.  So here's some stuff.

1) Why did Obama want to be president?  It's a "leadership" position.  He never voted as a state senator or as a US Senator. He is incapable of making a stand. Where I come from the term is "gutless".  I never thought I would wish for Hillary to be our leader.

2) If I saw Harry Reid in a bar or at a restaurant or on the steps of the Capitol Building, I'd challenge him to a boxing match.  They keep talking about how he was a boxer so that makes him a "fighter". All I see is a spineless wimp who would hide behind his wife in a home invasion.

Forget Ralph

Ralph and I talked tonight. He questioned my drinking ability.  Really?  We are in our late 40's and you're still throwing this out? Why? Because you had two beers with Marlo and now you think you can party? How dare you condescend to me!  How many nights of me kisssing you on the forehead will it take for you to know that you can't keep up with me (again we're straight, despite what my drunken typing may imply. Yes, I've kissed Ralph on the forehead on numerous accasions, he can't hold his sauce). Talk is cheap you little dwarf. Delmer just moved into "best friend" position. We talked for two hours and it was kind and gracious. Much unlike the our talk before that. OK, maybe that is just the Crown.  No offense Delmer. You'res still way up there Delmy. I'm still thinking about that rock fight we had with the Webbs back in the day. You were on the wrong side of the fence that day and forgiveness isn't really an option. ya feelin me? Ralph wins. Thems just the rules Holmes. Catholics and all.

Ralph, you are the best.

Ralph sent me this CSN song,  You fucking ass. Why? Why would you send this to me?  At our stage in life, this song rings volumes. To hell with your incitfuelness. Be damned with your appreciation of lyrics. I hate you with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns for reminiding me of our impending mortality. Damn you Ralph. I never want this to end and yet you keep reminding me that it will.

I don't hate you, you miserable Notre Dame/Red Sox loving fuck (was going to say "homo" or "faggot" but we live in a politically correct world, so calling him a "fuck" is as good as I can do. We grew up at Catholic school so those terms were completely acceptable at the time. I still use them. No offense intended.)

Very few of you can relate to how much love I have for him, or maybe you can, that would be great. I'm 48. He's been my best friend for 44 of those years.  Every post I write about Malta, I write for Ralph. He has been there for all of them. Now he sends me this video.  Fuck off Ralph. Quit making me cry.  This is a song about three buddies. God, how you make me mad. None of this is to imply we have a "different" relationship. Just for the record. We both love women. Despite what you may have read into the "waterbed" statement. We are very much straight. 

Here's the deal for all of you bloggers. Ralph is the complete salt of the earth. He is a man that if you met him would say to yourself  "what a great guy". The fact that I've had this great friendship for 44 years just gives me the right to call him out and say "fuck off" for this video.  See you in July Ghoulies.  Words cannot even begin to describe how much I miss you. And Skeets, and Delmer, and Adrian, and Ernie, much less brother Bill.

Here's a cool thing. Tomorrow night, Ralph (in Carson City, NV) and Delmer (in Malta you lucky fucker) and MRM will be all on the Skype.  Drinking beer and bullshitting like old times. God I love the 21st century.

Am I back? Maybe. No alliteration though. For all of you keeping track.

Songs on my way to work

I've been thinking about starting a daily feature where I put up a video of the best song that I heard on my casual 15 minute commute to work every day.  Then I thought "what the hell are you thinking about?  You can't do a daily meme/theme whatever deal.  You barely participate in Haiku Monday, it took every ounce of creativity you had to host Movie Clip Wednesday and now you want to have a DAILY post? Pull your head out of your ass!"  Ah, the voice of reason.  So seldom does it make an appearance that I barely recognize it.

More after the jump

Watching youtube with Ralph

So Ralph and I are on the phone (skype isn't working for Ralph) and I found this great video of the Cowboy Junkies singing Blue Moon.  I really like their take on this. Enjoy. By the way, no alcohol was consumed during this post. That's a lie. I'm enjoying a glass of Crown Cask 16 that my little sis gave me for Christmas. She's a doll.



After the jump, here are a couple of our favorites. I miss you Ralph. Tonight was fun but nothing compares to pulling a hundred CD's out of our vault and saying "how about this one?"