Saturday, January 31, 2009

Tomorrow Will Add A Head Coach To An Elite Club

Do you realize with the latest edition of the Coaching Carousel, there are only 2 of 32 Head Coaches in the NFL that have a Super Bowl Ring??

Bill Belichick (3)
Tom Coughlin (1)

Super Bowl Winning Head Coaches Recently Unemployed or Retired In The Last 3 Seasons
Bill Parcells (2)
Bill Cowher (1)
Jon Gruden (1)
Brian Billick (1)
Tony Dungy (1)
Dick Vermeil (1)
Mike Holmgren (1)
Mick Shanahan (2)
Joe Gibbs (3)

Hell, there is only 4 Other Guys who've even coached in one that are still employed!
Lovie Smith (1)
John Fox (1)
Andy Reid (1)
Jeff Fisher (1)

Just a Super Bowl nugget, nothing more...

Friday, January 30, 2009

Link Dump 1/30/09

From Cracked, 8 racist words we use every day. Cool. Thanks HT.

I like this idea from Asylum. Its better than anything President Teleprompter has come up with.

Here's my brother's website. It's pretty awesome. I'm proud of him.

Here's a cool video of guys jumping there bikes off a ramp into a pond. Then a chick tries it and ruins their perfect record. Chicks wrecking on bikes trying to do what guys can do naturally is funny. If you don't think so then you have a big dump in your pants. Thanks to BSS for the tip.

I know I made a post about checking this next one out but you really need to do it. This guy reminds me a lot of myself. I'm sure it makes you all shudder to know there might be someone else who thinks like me. Anyway, The Troll is funny and I love his in your face writing style. He hunts wild pigs with a shotgun, so that alone makes him cool.

Via conservative grapevine comes a site call dumb little man and 10 tips to be a complete failure. Not listed is to be a political liberal.

From Adult Swim two good cartoons. Carls is pissed about the superbowl and the best of Bill from King of the Hill.

I love cartoons. Always have. Always will.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Top Chef: Six is the limit.

Am I the next Nostradamus?

So at the beginning of last nights episode I had a premonition that Jeff would be gone.

Carla begins by saying she is better than she is, Leah reminding us that she can't hold her booze and Stefan oozing confidence.

The quickfire challenge was based on superbowl squares. The vertical column was one kind of ingredient and the horizontal column was oats. That's right. Oats. A stupid challenge with no immunity for winning. I will say though that this was a perfect opportunity for someone to make a chicken fried steak using crushed oats. A chance not taken yet again.

Jeff does his usual too much food and not enough time and it's becoming more apparent every week that Fabio does not respond to criticism well. Anyway, all the food is crusted in oats. Leah proves yet again that she can't cook fish and Stefan wins the quickfire which surprises no one with an IQ above room temperature.

The elimination challenge is some kind of all-star competition. The current contestants against contestants from the previous four seasons. Jeff's hair is Gary without the "r" and Carla continues to annoy me to the point of wanting to bury her in the forest somewhere. If Carla goes on to win the entire competition, which she won't, but if she does she should take 1o grand of the prize money and have a first class boob job. That and a haircut and some new glasses.

Padma is HOT in her referee's uniform. Yowza! Put her on the list of future wives.

Padma: "Personal foul on The Duke. Undressing the judge with his eyes. Penalty is nudging me for breakfast in the morning and it will be accessed after the kickoff." wink wink.

Me: "You naughty, naughty girl."

So the battles begin. Each contestant goes head to head with one of the previous seasons contestants, judges vote on the winners and so do five tasters from some culinary school. Season 5 contestants who lose to the all-stars face elimination.

I'm not going to break down each matchup. I got up kind of early to write this as I was too lazy to do it last night. The TC New York team wins but Stefan is facing elimination. Hosea is an ass and I'm rooting against him for the rest of the competition.

Jeff, pack up your knives, your faggy haircut, and what's left of your manhood (if there was any to begin with ) and hit the road. I think I had Jeff at 6-1 too. I've been waiting for him to really show me something. What he showed me is that some chick from Miami is a better cook, better football player and someone I'd prefer to see naked.

Did I mention that I predicted Jeff would be gone? I am brilliant.

Another week with Carla and Jaime. Just listening to Carla makes me want to hammer a screwdriver in my ear canal. Oh, last week I predicted a man would be gone as well. Its three against three and its time for a chick to go. A woman out of the kitchen? What am I saying?

Monday, January 26, 2009

Our future is over if the stimulus bill passes

From House Minority Leader John Boehner via Conservative Grapvine comes a list from Boehner himself of 20 things the Dems and MSM will not tell you about the stimulus bill. Of special interest to me were numbers 5,7,12,15 and 20. I weep for the future.

Top 20 Fast Facts About the House Democrats' Trillion Dollar Spending Plan House Democrats Derail Bipartisan Process, Plow Ahead with Proposals to Fund Digital TV Coupons, Cars for Bureaucrats, and Contraceptives ... In a Bill Allegedly About the Economy
Washington, Jan 26 - Earlier this month, when then-President-elect Obama met with Democratic and Republican congressional leaders, he laid out a vision of crafting a bipartisan economic recovery package focused on creating jobs and fast-acting tax relief. However, in the weeks since that meeting, Democratic leaders in Congress have taken that vision and turned it upside down, crafting a plan loaded with hundreds of billions in spending on programs and projects – most of which will not impact our ailing economy for many years, if ever, according to the nonpartisan
Congressional Budget Office.
Rather than working with Republicans on a
proposal that lets families, small businesses, entrepreneurs, and the self-employed keep more of what they earn to create jobs and help fix our economy, it seems congressional Democrats are prepared to barrel ahead with the same-old, same-old – more and more aimless spending – at a time when the American people expect so much more out of their elected officials in Washington. For a taste of just how badly Capitol Hill Democrats have strayed from the vision of a bipartisan plan to get our economy moving again, take a look at these 20 fast facts about their bloated plan:

1. The $825 billion package slated for a House vote later this week will exceed more than $1.1 trillion when adding in the interest ($300 plus billion) between 2009-2019 to pay for it.

2. The Capitol Hill Democrats’ plan includes funding for
contraceptives; regardless of where anyone stands on taxpayer funded contraception, there is no question that it has NOTHING to do with the economy.

3. The legislation could open billions of taxpayer dollars to left-wing groups like the
Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN), which has been accused of voter fraud, is reportedly under federal investigation; and played a key role in the housing meltdown.

4. Here are just a few of the programs and projects that have been included in the House Democrats’ proposal:
· $650 million for digital TV coupons.
· $600 million for new cars for the federal government.
· $6 billion for colleges/universities – many which have billion dollar endowments.
· $50 million in funding for the National Endowment of the Arts.
· $44 million for repairs to U.S. Department of Agriculture headquarters.
· $200 million for the National Mall, including $21 million for sod.

5. The plan establishes at least 32 new government programs at a cost of over $136 billion. That means more than a third of this plan’s spending provisions are dedicated to creating new government programs.

6. The plan provides spending in at least 150 different federal programs, ranging from Amtrak to the Transportation Security Administration. Is this the “targeted” plan Democratic leaders promised?

7. Even though the legislation contains at least 152 separate spending proposals, the authors of the plan can only say that 34 have any chance at keeping or growing jobs.

8. Just one in seven dollars of an $18.5 billion expenditure on “energy efficiency” and “renewable energy programs” would be spent within the next 18 months.

9. The total cost of this one piece of legislation is almost as much as the annual discretionary budget for the entire federal government.

10. The House Democrats’ bill will cost each and every household $6,700 in additional debt, paid for by our children and grandchildren.

11. The bill provides enough spending – $825 billion – to give every man, woman, and child in America $2,700. $825 billion is enough to give every person in Ohio $72,000.

12. $825 billion is enough to give every person living in poverty in the United States $22,000.

13. Although the House Democrats’ proposal has been billed as a transportation and infrastructure investment package, in actuality only $30 billion of the bill – or three percent – is for road and highway spending. A recent
study from the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office found that only 25 percent of infrastructure dollars can be spent in the first year, making the one year total less than $7 billion.

14. Much of the funding within the House Democrats’ proposal will go to programs that already have large, unexpended balances. For example, the bill provides $1 billion for Community Development Block Grants (CDBG) – a program that already has $16 billion on hand. States also are sitting on some $9 billion in unused highway funds – funds that Congress is prepared to rescind later this year.

15. All board members of the “Accountability and Transparency Board” created by this legislation are appointees of the President; none will be appointed by Congress.

16. A scant 2.7 percent, or $22.3 billion of the overall package, is dedicated to small business tax relief.

17. The Joint Committee on Taxation estimates that the legislation increases by seven million the number of people who get a check back from the IRS that exceeds what they paid in payroll and income taxes.

18. The “Making Work Pay” tax credit at the center of the plan amounts to $1.37 a day, or about the price of a cup of coffee.

19. Almost one-third of the so-called “tax relief” in the House Democrats’ bill is spending in disguise, meaning that true tax relief makes up only 24 percent of the total package – not the 40 percent that President Obama had requested.

20. $825 billion is just the beginning – many Capitol Hill Democrats want to spend even more taxpayer dollars on their “stimulus” plan. In fact, the Chairman of the House Appropriations Committee, Rep. David Obey (D-WI), told
Roll Call earlier this month, “I would not be surprised to see us go further on some of these programs down the line.”

Music Monday

Over at the Troll Report, he has a thing called Mute Mondays. It's a cool idea that you can read about so I thought I would do a different spin. As I can't really be mute, I decided to start Music Monday. I'll try to come up with theme's and the like and will take suggestions. Thanks to The Troll for the inspiration. I need people with way more creativity than me to try to keep this thing fresh. Anyway, today's play list are just some great rock songs from the 1970's. Whoda thunk?

Friday, January 23, 2009

Random Thoughts #4

Things that cross my mind while wondering if it's too late for me to go to Hollywood and become a famous screenwriter/actor/director.

Best line of the week that wasn't mine. "He doesn't know his ass from a hot rock" The Prodigy.

Isn't it odd that democrats are asking for unity and bipartisanship now that President Teleprompter is in office? Honestly, was there a bigger time in our history when they were more obstructionist than the last eight years? Can you imagine how much money is going to be spent in the next four years? If Obama was a conservative black man instead of an ultra-liberal the headlines at the NYT would read "Uncle Tom to take oath, no one cares."

I like Jello pudding snack pacs.

The mission statement of the website What Would Tyler Durden Do "'What Would Tyler Durden Do" is a blog focused on bringing you the latest gossip and news about rich and famous celebrities and then making fun of them. Why? Because fuck them, that's why"
Its so wise in its own way.

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." Bob Newhart

Day 2 of President Barry's reign and he hasn't done a god damn thing. I thought he was the savior? Isn't it sad that the leader of this great nation won't wear a flag pin on his lapel and that his wife hates America? Yes, yes it is.

I know I'm getting old because I'm starting to like Air Supply. Even sadder is that I can sing most of the lyrics. I think I've said that once before. When you never stop talking its hard to remember everything you say.

Lets see, in Minnesota Al Franken is learning from Al Gore's mistakes on how to steal an election and is about to become a US Senator. First Jessie Ventura, now this. Minnesota, you are the worst state in the union. It's not even close. Sorry but its true.

Meanwhile in Illinois, the governor there had Barry's Senate seat up for sale. He did everything but list it on ebay including talking to Barry's advisers but no one is investigating Barry. Nope. He had an "internal" investigation which revealed no wrong doing. Whew. I sure feel better. Doing an internal investigation? Wow. If that kind of logic had been used in OJ's last trial, OJ would have been the prosecuting attorney. "Your honor, there is no evidence against me." Judge "Well then, case dismissed."

Our Secretary of State is married to the most corrupt politician in the last 50 years, a man who has taken millions of dollars of foreigner's money, but I'm sure there won't be any conflicts of interest. After all, when Hillary was first lady and the FBI asked her for some documents she promptly handed them over 6 1/2 years later.

And in New York a woman being seriously considered for the Senate seat to replace Queen Thunderthighs has only one qualification and that is this: her father was killed while being president. That's it. Caroline has less qualifications than a Walmart greeter. Her father is the most overrated president in HISTORY. I'll stand by that all day. He served 2 1/2 years, gave some good speeches but didn't do a whole lot else. Don't give me the Cuban missile crisis either. The Russians pulled out after we removed a bunch of missiles in Greece and Turkey. Not hardly a stare down. Fran Drescher wants the seat and should be more seriously considered than Caroline. Honestly, I would get drunk for a week if a bomb went off in the Kennedy compound and killed everyone one of them. American royalty my ass. If making money by bootlegging and running drugs is American royalty, then we all owe John Gotti and apology. UPDATE: Princess Caroline has withdrawn her name for consideration. I'm surprised but happy. Still wouldn't be unhappy about the bomb thing though. Not very Christian I know, but its for the greater good.

I'm going to take $200 out of my savings this week and buy ammunition with it. Hardly a stockpile I know but its a start. I suggest any gun owners who haven't already done this, do the same. Barry may not take our guns but he is going to make it damn hard to shoot them.

Less than 24 days til the Daytona 500.

When I was a kid, my dad would shave every night before he went to work. Every once in a while, he would give me one of his razors without a blade in it. He'd lather me up and I'd take the empty razor and scrape the foam off. It was so cool. I could hardly wait to shave. Now I have to do it every fucking day and it sucks. Its about the only time my Dad kept the truth from me. I think he knew how big a pain in the ass it was and it was his way of playing a joke on me. Funny yet cruel. I'd grow a beard except it's so gray now that I'd look like a skinny Santa Claus.

My brother's chest hair starts where he stops shaving. Hairy he is. He's not getting any skinnier either. He's not fat though, just short for his weight.

Two of my goals for this year are to get my handicap in the teens and put 500 miles on my four wheeler.

Is it possible that I'm so charming that women are afraid of me? Or is it mostly the sexist comments I can't help but make? I'm not sexist. I love women. If I had one of my own I'd even let her out of the house for more than grocery shopping. What can I say, I was raised to be a gentleman.

Olivia Newton-John is singing on XM right now. I know there were a few women in the 70's who were hotter, but not many. She's easily in the top ten for the decade. Schawing!!

You know your weekend sucks when you're already looking forward to watching the Lumber Liquidators PBA on ESPN.

Its a shame that anyone who will criticize the president the next four years will automatically be called a racist. "The emperor has no clothes!"

Speaking of clothes. I didn't get to see Barry accept the crown and scepter as he ascended to the thrown of, whoops, I forgot that in America we elect our leaders. Its the MSM who thinks that he is the new king. They will protect him as such. Anyway, back to the clothes. Its funny how Michelle Obama is already being called a "fashion icon". I guess the people who are calling her that watched the inauguration in black and white. That puke green dress she wore was hideous. Fashion icon. Her clothes look like they're from Mugatu's Derilique collection.

I saw "Dark Knight" last Saturday. Excuse me if I say it wasn't all that. Heath Ledger was alright but if he wasn't dead, he definitely would not have received an academy award nomination. He was much better in "10 things I hate about you." Just another reason why I stay away from the theaters. That and because I'm cheap.

I saw a woman today that I've know for several years. She is very beautiful. Today I noticed that she is also very stacked. I mean Rackajawea stacked. Funny as she never used to be. I'm not complaining. Not in the least. Just find it interesting. Looks like she put that divorce settlement money to good use. God bless her.

Answer: ACLU headquarters, anywhere in Hollywood, my ex-wife's house, the United Nations, anywhere in France.
Question: What are some places I would like to see Al Queda firebomb?

I don't sleep very much at night anymore. I should use that time to do more quality blogging, but as you all know I'm lazy.

The older I get the more I believe in timing. I've never been a big believer in fate. It makes it sound like our lives our predetermined and we have no control. I do believe that timing is a crucial element in life however. Be prepared for opportunity and braced for the unfortunate. Its the difference between success and failure for the former and happiness and heartbreak for the latter.

One of the biggest differences between conservatives and communists, excuse me, liberals, is the resentment that libs have for individual success. Liberals hate the fact that people can succeed without government help. They don't mind if they themselves have money. Money they don't donate to charities or the needy. They just don't want to see people of lesser means rise up and be equal. Its why they've never helped black America. Keep their bellies full and the votes will always come in. If the people who are dependant on government learned they could feed themselves this country would take on an entirely different look.

The 70's were the greatest decade for music. Its not even an argument. Ballads, great rock, soft pop even good disco. In the 80's music began to fragment and presently there is some good stuff out there but its hard to find.

This is how old I am getting. On XM I listen to a lot of Classic Rewind. Some song came on last week from 1984. I started yelling at the radio that the song wasn't a classic. Then I did some math and realized that its 25 years old. What a drag.

The weekend is here. I wish everyone could work with me on Friday. I'm like an entirely different person. Maybe its because I work so hard andI know I need a break. Or maybe its because I know at the end of the day there is a glass of whiskey waiting for me. Take the bet on the last one.


Thursday, January 22, 2009

Take a look at The Troll

Hello loyal followers. If you have a moment in the next day or two check out this blogspot Its a good read. Like me, he is picking Stefan to win Top Chef. He is obviously brilliant.

Top Chef, and then there were seven

A woman will not win this thing. Why? Because they're insane.
Last night on Top Chef the event was the annual restaurant wars. A great event wherein the two quickfire winners get to select their own team, name a restaurant, give it a theme, decorate it and choose a menu they will serve. Leah and Rhadika were the two winners. Both of them showed two things last night, neither are ready to run their own joint and neither can handle the pressure they are almost sure to feel as the season progresses towards the championship. Make it three times. Both would rather lose than pick Stefan. A lack of intelligence which almost proves that they vote democrat.

Rhadika showed she has all the organizational skills and warming personality to host a restaraunt as a spider monkey. Leah proved that trying to make out with Hosea the night before one of the biggest competitions of the season tends to take away your focus. She spent most of the next day worrying about getting the Aunt Jemima treatment from him then she did focusing on her cooking.

Rhadika made the worst mistake of either of them. Given first choice to pick her team, she chosen the carney tattooed swashbukling dyk that is Jaime. Leah quickly followed suit by letting her loins do the choosing in selecting Hosea first. Hmmm, the best chef on the show is still Stefan and no one picks him? Further proof that logic seems non existent with this species. Stefan is chosen last. LAST! Are you shitting me? The guy that hasn't even sniffed elimination is left to last because "he's arrogant". Listen dumbasses, it's all about winning. They guy has the most experience, creativity and confidence of anyone on the show. You chicks in your 20's need to get your heads out of your asses and think about that next time.

So the wars are on, themes and menu's are chosen.

Rhadika pisses down both legs as hostess. Jeff cooks an OK meal, Jaime's soup is good and Carla's desert tastes like feet.

Over at Leah's, Hosea does well with the short ribs and Fabio is fanfuckingtastic as a host. Leah, the owner of the restaurant, cooks fish that the judges wont finish. It's so bad they won't even finish the meal. Now, I might not be the best cook. When Shake and Bake is a house specialty, its hard to make that claim, but I've never had anyone send my food back.

Enter Stefan's dessert. It saved the meal and absolutely blew the judges away. These are people that respect a good dessert but don't give it as much weight as the rest of the meal. This, along with Fabio's hosting ability, wins the competition for Leah and keeps her from being eliminated because if her team loses she's gone faster than a beer at a hotdog eating contest.

Here's the lesson. If you get a chance to pick a teammate, pick Stefan. He's head and shoulders above the rest, confident and if you listen to him he'll make sure you win along with him. Get it?

Carla continues to avoid elimination which is absolutely mind shocking. Her dessert wasn't as good as a dilly bar from DQ and she still gets to stay.

Rhadika, pack up your knives and go. I had you going at 25-1 and didn't expect you to leave for a couple more weeks. BTW, lose the dress you were wearing last night. You're pretty hot but that dress looked liked you bought it at Chicago Tent and Awning. The judges continue to send home the attractive women while letting the ugos stay on for much undeserved screen time.

I don't know what will happen next week. I have even money on a man going home as they outnumber the chicks now. Call it a hunch.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Glossary for B Hussein Obama

This is a great post from Right Wing News and poster Van Helsing.

Age of Obama Dictionary Updates

The tragicomic era opening up before us is going to require some new additions to the dictionary, compliments of Daniel Cirucci:

Formerly known as socialists, they will be the engine that drives Obamanomics. They will build new bridges to socialist Europe and the rest of the redistributive world, teach us to accept Canadian-style health care and usher in the new post-capitalist era. Think money laundering, but on a much grander scale.

Since Dear Leader himself is fond of fitness centers, mirrors, beaches, basketball and other diversions, someone will have to do the real work: writing the vast new sea of government regulations, crafting legislation, "vetting" radicals for high-level appointments and reserving a place for House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., on Air Force One. This will be done by the worker bees, the Obamawonks. Think bureaucrats in Birkenstocks.

These are the campaignaholics who now have nothing to do and no place to go. They will become Obamorganizers — community and political organizers in the neighborhoods, drumming up support for Dear Leader's policies and programs at the grassroots level. They will work person-to-person and door-to-door. Think the Avon lady without the fresh scents.

This older group of Obamaniacs is composed of reconstructed hippies and yippies from the 1960s who have longed for a rebirth of the Aquarian age. They are industrious, but their brains still remain somewhat scrambled. They will staff the Bureau of Arts and Crafts and also act as new-age cheerleaders for The One. Think love beads and lava lamps.

Formerly known as journalists, these wordsmiths, image-crafters and branders will assist the new Ministry of Information, which will be responsible for enforcing Obamaspeak and Obamathink. At the outset, they will work to dismantle conservative talk radio and redirect our attention to Obamavison so that we can all feel a tingle up our leg. Think Chris Matthews.

This is the glitterati of Obamaville — the King's Court in the Realm of Barrackus Maximus. While urging us to generously share the little that is left in our pockets after Obanomics, these high-flying zillionaires will continue their orgy of self-indulgence. All the while they will work to create Obamalot, a land of lords, ladies (and those somewhere in-between) united by love and tolerance. They are in secular Obammunion with The One. If only we could be as caring and compassionate as these Obamebrities, we too could attain superstar status. Think Oprah.

Formerly known as RINOs, these Republicans In Name Only will constitute the New Bipartisanship — a vaulted alliance of the real believers, the true believers and the "me too" believers. Also known as The Cautious Ones, these Obamacans seek the same, but just a bit less, thank you. Think Colin Powell.

A couple of other useful terms are obambardment — the relentless barrage of breathless obamunist propaganda from the obamunicators; and obamnambulists — those who sleepwalk through the dismantling of their country, distracted from resistance by the farcical spectacle that is obamania.

An Obamacan blathers as obamnambulists shuffle toward doom.

On a tip from nanc. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

More funny photos

Here are some more funny photos. I took these from Holy Taco. I'm pretty sure they are all public domain as they aren't watermark but in case the aren't thanks to the guys at HT. is the link for the entire collection. Captions are mine.

Easy ladies, its only a cover plate.

What pervert took the time to look this close to find the sex in this ad. Get a life.

Purple and White? Must be a good Mormon girl from Weber State.

Peyton giving us the classic Manning face. 7-10 in the playoffs. Nice work.

Does anyone know if these guys are gay? I though I heard that once.

I love living in the 21st century. Can you imagine trying to do this with a Polaroid Instamatic?

This should be a NAMBLA ad.

Brady just being Brady.

No words are necessary.

link dump 1/20/09

Here's a cool list form Holy Taco about middle school fights.

Here's more on the financial crisis and how democrats can't be trusted with the money. Facts are facts.

The top 24 Cartman moments. I may have posted this already but so what. This isn't a democracy. Its a Gibbsocracy.

From Hot Air, the worst political movies of the last 50 years.

From disaboom via Conservative Grapevine some great pics of odd sea creatures.

From Hot Air again, the best conservative movies of the last 25 years.

Here's a list of some conservative principles from Conservative Oasis. Reading this has given be an idea to write a post for this blog.

Monday, January 19, 2009

New Tom Cruise movie

19 Inch Inseam: The Tom Cruise Story

CGI - Rumor has it that Vern Troyer has been slated to star in the biopic of Tom Cruise entitled "19 inch inseam: The Tom Cruise Story." Troyer, best known for his role as Minime in the Austin Powers series, is said to be thrilled at the opportunity.

"Obviously this is a once in a lifetime chance. To play Tom in a movie of this magnitude is what every actor dreams of."
Cruise is also said to be happy with the choice.

"Vern is a close personal friend and he has also promised to convert to Scientology as part of the deal which also makes me quite thrilled."

Vern Troyer (seperated at birth from Cruise?)

Also said to be in the hunt to play Cruise was Danny Woodburn. Woodburn, best known for his role as Mickey on the "Seinfeld" series is reported to have turned down the role.

"I'm not a fan of Tom's body of work," Woodburn stated. "He plays the same guy in every movie, his range is limited and his movies are all the same. They suck."

Woodburn turning down this role is a bit of irony as it was Woodburn who was originally cast as Maverick in "Top Gun".

"It was too homo-erotic for me," said Woodburn. "Standing around in your tighty whiteys, almost making out with Val Kilmer. Thanks but no thanks."

More irony with this film is that it helped make Tom Cruise a superstar. It was also one of the last movies he made that actually showed a profit as Cruise's box office power has slipped considerably the past several years.

"He's a heightener," states Woodburn. "He's never been proud to be who he is. If it wasn't for lifts and fake camera angles, he couldn't get a spot as a stand in on the "Wizard of Oz"'.

"Looks like the University of Illinois."

The movie is scheduled to begin shooting the first week of February with a release date of May 10th.

"It shouldn't take to long to film a movie about Cruise's successful movies," said Troyer. "That's another reason I took the role. We won't be on the set or location very much."

Also being considered was legendary actor Billy Barty. Barty did not respond to an interview as he died in 2000.

Billy Barty in happier times as he wasn't dead yet

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Top Chef 1 down 8 to go

Take your spray on tan and hit the road!

So let me get this straight. Arianne butchers the meat, that Hosea should have, Leah ties the meat because for some reason Arianne isnt good at it, and they send Arianne home? Those sexist bastards. I told you they would even it out. Tom tried to stick up for her but that loud mouthed Brit would have none of it. Did anyone else notice that the lamb was the viewers favorite? Good bye Arianne you semi hot cougaresqued New Jerseyite. We will miss your smile and fake tan.

On the winners side Stefan's team won. What is surprising is that he won with the two highest handicappers in the field, Carla and Jaime. This just proves how talented Stefan is. Jaime bitched at him the entire time about the menu and he relented somewhat but kept it enough his way to be the winner.

Rhadika contributed almost nothing to her team as well and I thought she would be taking a hike.

Previews for next week's episode show Leah trying to crawl in bed with Hosea. Just as I predicted.

Local Sports Update:

A loyal follower of the blog brought this to my attention and in the interest of "fair and balanced" I felt strongly compelled to post it:

Motnana Prep Scoreboard:
Chinook 50, Malta 31

link dump 1/14/09

Here's a list of the top 50 sportscasters of all time. I puked in my mouth a little when i saw Harry Caray's name on the list at 18. Am I the only guy who thinks that Caray totally sucked at calling a baseball game. If getting drunk and saying people's birthdays are the standard for being in the top 50 then he should have been in at number 1.

Here's a link on a training program on how to get to one hundred pushups. I haven't read this but there are a few of you who need to.

Here's link where an Israeli plane blows up some scummy Hamas guys launching rockets from a schoolyard. You gotta love the moslems. Yup. This is the religion of peace alright.

Here's something from a blog called Oddee. Its about odd stuff believe it or not and these are LEGO recreations of famous paintings in history.

Here's a link to Right Wing News and the 10 worst quotes from the Daily Kos. The Daily Kos is a ultra liberal website that hopefully will be firebombed in the next 2-3 years. Read these quotes and try to convince me that liberals are tolerant and understanding and that conservatives are evil.

Here's just a quick look at illegitimacy rates in America. The numbers were not of any surprise to me.

Whose really to blame for the housing crisis. Hint: its not GWB.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Handicapping "Top Chef" part 2

After a rocky start Ariane has been bringing the heat. She has two elimination wins and one quickfire win. This is what you're going to here about the top four: they're all creative, they're all cool under pressure and they can all cook. If Ariane has one disadvantage to the other three, its that she is a caterer by trade and not a top trained chef. Still, she hasn't been on the brink of elimination since about week three. I have her at 5-1.

Here's the darkhorse, if you can call a guy getting 4-1 a darkhorse. Jeff hasn't won an elimination challenge or a quickfire but I do not believe he's been in the even close to elimination. His dishes are always well received. He's just missed winning a couple of times. If he has a draw back its that he always picks something that needs an incredible amount of prep time so he's just barely finishing at times and I think that has cost him. He'll be in the final four and then it will get real interesting.

Fabio. The name says it all. He's Italian with the Mediterranean attitude to fit the bill and he can cook. He has been in the elimination group once, so when he misses, he can miss big. But he also hits it out of the park as his two elimination wins have proven. He's an outstanding chef. He's creative, funny and I sure he's a fan favorite so he'll be around til the last three weeks. 3-1.

Stefan is the man to beat. He's won a quickfire and two elimination challenges and hasn't even sniffed being eliminated. He's bold, confident and his creativity is heads and shoulders above the rest. You will start to see a lot of resentment as they get closer to the finish. His determination that this is a competition is what really separates him. He and Fabio are the Euros in this and right now they're pals but look for him to distance himself from Fabio when the chips are down. 2-1.

There you have it. The top nine as handicapped by the one, the only, The Duke. Enjoy.

The Hall of Fame and Ricky Henderson

Let me start by saying that Ricky Henderson is very deserving of the Hall. Jim Rice gets in on the pity clause. What a joke. Whenever a guy like Jim Rice is elected we should say he "Art Monked himself" into whichever hall they are being elected to.

Here's a collection of Ricky stories from Barstool Sports. Thanks to Jerry T for his hard work on this.

From BSS

Rickey the diplomat: When Rickey broke Lou Brock's all-time Stolen Base record, Brock had given up his own time to come to the game and stand next to Rickey for the presentation. Rickey addressed the crowd: “Lou Brock was a great base stealer, but today, I am the greatest of all-time.”

Rickey, friend to the little people: With the Mets in 1999, Rickey asked a teammate why there were so many reporters around and he was told the team had fired Tom Robson. "Who's he?" Rickey replied Robson was the Mets hitting coach.

Rickey the Wizard of Wall St. The A's accounting department was in a panic because their books were off by a million bucks. The source of the discrepancy was Rickey, who had taken a $1 million bonus check and instead of cashing it, framed it.

Rickey the Wizard of Wall St. Part II: He once held onto a bonus check rather than cash it because he was "waiting for the rates to go up."

Rickey the geographer: He once asked a teammate how long it would take to drive to the Dominican Republic.

Rickey the geography, Part II: His apartment had a "view of the Entire State Building."
Third person Rickey: He once left Padres GM Kevin Towers this voicemail: “This is Rickey calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.”

Rickey the linguist: When he was looking for a seat on the Padres bus, Steve Finley said "You can sit anywhere you want. You've got tenure." To which Rickey replied “Ten years? Ricky’s been playing at least 16, 17 years.”

Classy Rickey: When he broke Ty Cobb's All Time Runs Scored record on a home run, he took full minute to round the bases then slid home.

Rickey the mathematician: When Ken Caminiti said that 50% of ballplayers were juicing, Rickey said “Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there.”

Gracious Rickey: At the end of his days with the Sox, Tom Werner offered him a car as a going away present and Rickey said he wanted John Henry's Mercedes. Not the same make and model. He wanted John Henry's car. So the team presented him with a red Thunderbird and when he saw it Rickey said "Who's ugly car is on the field?"

My all time favorite Rickey story that turns out not to be true even though I wish it was: Legend has it that when he was with the Mets, Rickey asked John Olerud why he wears a helmet in the field and Olerud explained how he had had an aneurysm and had to as a precaution. "Man," Rickey supposedly said, "I was with Toronto last year and we had a guy with the same thing!" And Olerud said "That would be me." Too bad both men deny it ever happened.

But a true story of Rickey, great teammate: His locker was next to Billy Beane's, but Beane got sent down to the minors. After a few months, Beane got called back up to the bigs. Six weeks after his call up Rickey said “Hey, man, where have you been? Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

Jerry says that he can't wait for Rickey's induction speech. That makes two of us.

Handicapping the 9 finalists on "Top Chef" part 1

This is it people. The final nine fry cooks on Bravo's "Top Chef" and I'm going to give you the odds on where to put your money. This of course is not how they will fair as Bravo does more elimination by gender then cooking ability but if they disregard gender then this is definitely an accurate description of the odds. Let me remind you that Gail is not on the show anymore this season. Something to do with getting married, blah, blah blah. Its too late Gail. The damage is done. The really hot girls were eliminated early with your help as you were to threatened by their beauty to judge their ability accurately. Padma is not threatened by any woman, unlike you Gail, who should be judging fast food and not world class cuisine.

This is Carla. I originally had her at a gazillion to one to win this competition but have since lowered those odds to 200-1. I'm not going to get into bios, what they do and where they're from, I'm just going to give you the lowdown as I've seen it with my keen yet so objective eye and what I've seen is that Carla can't cook and shouldn't be in the final nine. She's a nice lady yada yada. She hasn't won a single quickfire or elimination challenge. Her food is boring and uninspired and I hate her hair. 200-1.

This Jaime. She has lots of tattoos. She is a mean spirited wench and a lesbian. She's not a very good cook either. She has won one elimination challenge and no quickfires. She is abrasive, thinks she knows everything and I'm sure they will keep her on the show just for her attitude which will be a travesty. Quick sidebar: there are five women and four men left. The top four highest handicaps according to me are all women so we will see if the judges agree or if they let ratings dictate their decisions. Oh wait, its TV. Never mind. Anyway I have Jaime at 100-1. Nice pants

This is Leah. This is a very flattering picture of her. She's above average looking but this picture makes her look closer to a 10, which she isn't, then the 7 that she is. I have her at 75-1 but she could easily be 10-1. She's won an elimination challenge and two quickfires but something tells me that as this competition gets tougher with more pressure she is going to fold up like an ironing board at a dry cleaners. I just made that up. Pretty clever huh? She has a thing for Hosea and I'm sure she wants to give him some of her home cookin. Bada bump bump. 75-1.

This is Rhadika. She's a cute little chef of Indian (the country in Asia) descent. Rhadika has won each a quickfire and an elimination challenge but is always in the hunt at the end of the day. She has a little more originality then the above. She's calm under pressure has enough charm to win you over and takes criticism well. I have her at 25-1 but she could be 10-1 or better if the competition at the top of the ladder wasn't so stiff.

This is Hosea. I have him at 6-1. He's won two elimination challenges and one quickfire. He's a self taught chef which is pretty cool. Like Rhadika, he's original and pretty calm under pressure. One of the elimination challenges he won was after a fridge door had been left open and he had to redo his portion of the competition. The rest of the group helped him (I think Rhadika was also effected) but he really pulled it together to win that round. Because he hasn't had formal training, his thinking is really outside the box. 6-1.

Well, there's the first five who should be gone. Its not whether they leave in order, the purpose of this is to let you know who is going to win and I think I have a good idea so stay tuned for part 2.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Its not "The Hall of Pretty Good"

The results for induction into the Baseball Hall of Fame come out today. There are really only two candidates worth mentioning who deserve to be elected, one of whom most certainly will be and that is Ricky Henderson.

I'm not going to make a debate about why Ricky should be in. His credentials as the greatest leadoff hitter in MLB history attest for themselves and he is a lock to be elected today.

That being said, lets talk about some of the other candidates for whom arguments are being made. The are Bert "be home" Blyleven, Andre Dawson, Jim Rice, Jack Morris and Lee Smith.

To me the first four are relatively easy arguments. None of them have the numbers that are worth of The Hall. Blyleven has 287 wins. That's a nice number but lets look as his career. He only won 20 games once. That's one more 20 win season than I have. He is 37 games over .500 for his career. That means he won 1.5 more games than he lost for a season for 22 years. Not even close in my book. Blyleven is a perfect example of a guy who was a decent pitcher/ballplayer who also stayed relatively healthy for a long time so that he amassed decent career numbers, but a dominant pitcher? Not even close. He wasn't an ace on any staff and although hitters knew he was above average, I don't think too many of them were afraid of him.

Morris is almost the opposite. A shorter career so less stellar numbers. A very pedestrian .390 ERA and only three 20 win seasons. Morris is best know for his great world series game against the Braves where he pitched a complete 10 inning shutout to clinch the series for the Twins. I still remember listening to that game on the radio and it was ultra thrilling and Morris had balls that clanked that night but if a decent career and one great game put you in the Hall then they'd better start adding on. He was intimidating on the mound and was the ace of the staff wherever he went but still the numbers just aren't there as attested by his ERA. He is 60 games over .500 for his career and struck out twice as many batters as he faced. Between Bert and Jack, if I was forced to vote for one (and by forced I mean a gun in my mouth or I'm dead and nothing less) I'd vote for Morris. A much stronger case can be made for him but I still don't think he is deserving.

The argument against Rice and Dawson is very simple. They don't have the numbers. Not even friggin close and if Dawson doesn't spend a few years in Chicago and Rice doesn't play in the softball park in Boston, their names aren't even going to be mentioned. Playing in media centers is always better for a players career and they get more accolades than they deserve (see Sandberg, Ryan) and these two guys are no exceptions. Between the two of them they only have 7 seasons of 30+ home runs. Seven. Ken Griffey Jr. has nine all by himself. This shouldn't even be an argument. They were good ball players. They weren't great even for the time they played and if Rice played in Kansas City and Dawson never leaves Montreal than I would be blogging about something else.

The case for Lee Smith is this. He was absolutely dominating as a pitcher in his time and was money in the bank. When Smith retired, he was the all time leader in saves and that record stood for several years. Like Goose Gossage, Smith didn't come into a game to face one man and get a save. He pitched in 50+ games 13 times in his career and pitched more than 70 innings 11 times in that span including 90+ innings six times and averaged one strike out per inning for his career. He is third on the all-time save list behind Trevor Hoffman and Mariano Rivera ( both of whom are still playing. Those numbers are worthy and Smith became the prototype for the relievers we see today. I would take Lee Smith in his prime over ANYONE who has been a reliever including the two guys mentioned. He was that good.

So good luck to everyone on the ballot today. I hope the voters use common sense and rational thought when making their selections. Afterall, this isn't Canton. Art Monk? Really?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

A request for your next wife....

Dear Milk River Madman:

I happened to catch a portion of Ann Coulter's interview with Matt Lauer on the Today Show this morning and while God Bless Her for what she believes in I'm shit full of that cackling hen, screaming over the top, loud voice!

I can read her books all day.
I would never claim to have near the intellect to exchange barbs with her, nor would I.
Her arguments are well founded, and researched endlessly.
Most importantly, she's bold enough to point out the inequities in the horseshit liberal media and someone has too!
And she's Smokin Hot!!! I even like the Hooker boots!

But dammit Chip, when you finally get her alone, could you please address her delivery? It's to the point of distraction and lost appeal for me.

Thank you,

The Prodigy

Monday, January 5, 2009

I hate to say I told you so. No wait, I love saying it.

Last week I predicted that the Chargers would beat the Colts. I'm not saying that I don't like the Colts. They're OK. Peyton is a great quarterback and his name will be mentioned in the "best ever" category when its all said and done but his playoff record is less than stellar. I pedestrian 7-8 with three of those wins coming in their superbowl season a couple of years ago. So what's up with him? A found the below article on a link through Barstool Sports. It was written Friday January 2. Virtually everything in this article is something that I've discussed with Dan at one point. Peyton is not a big game quarterback and the clock is ticking. Trent Dilfer, Brad Johnson, Kurt Warner, Bret Farvra, Doug Williams, Joe Namath and Jim Plunkett have all won a superbowl. The only person you can mention in the same breath as Peyton is Farvra and if he's continues on the path of psychotic self destruction (which I'm personally rooting for) then the only thing that will separate Peyton from this list is yards and touchdowns.

In the NFL, more than any other sport, Superbowls help define your career. Warner has as many superbowl victories, more appearances in the superbowl and more post season wins than Peyton Manning. Maybe Indy should be looking for a trade with Arizona in the off-season. Well, only if they want to win in the playoffs. From the Indianapolis Star.

We were talking on the radio, and I got to wondering:
What if the Colts somehow lose on Saturday? How will history treat them? How will we treat them?

After six straight seasons of 12 victories or more, but just one Super Bowl appearance/victory, what will their legacy be?

Now, before the multitudes attack, let me quickly add that I believe the Colts will win Saturday's game in San Diego. The Chargers are hot, but the Colts are hotter. The Chargers are playing better than earlier this season, but they're 0-5 against playoff teams. They dropped 52 on Denver, but as Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler said, "We can't stop anybody.'' San Diego is dangerous, especially if the Colts let Darren Sproles hurt them on special teams, but the bottom line is, they're wretched against the pass, meaning Peyton Manning should have a monster day.
(Oh, and a quick aside: I've been informed that in the first known example of bulletin-board material being provided by a vanquished team, the Chargers are using Cutler's San Diego loss observation as their rallying cry for this week. So we can't blame this one on Mike Vanderjagt. At least not without trying real hard.)

OK, then.

But let's play "what if . . .''

What if they lose?
What will be the ugly fallout?

I've written this before and I said it on the radio the other day and I'll write it again: They will cast themselves as the Atlanta Braves of the NFL. One great regular season after another, one postseason appearance after another, and just one championship to show for it.

Look at history. The only teams that have done what the Colts have done, stringing together all these double-digit-victory seasons, are the dynastic San Francisco 49ers and Dallas Cowboys.

Those teams won multiple Super Bowls. The Colts need to win multiple Super Bowls to fully validate and bring into focus the scope of this run of excellence.

And there's no excuse this time. No New England lying in wait. No dominant AFC team preparing to pounce on the unsuspecting Colts. No major Colts injuries, except for Gary Brackett's fractured fibula. No extended rest periods, providing the excuse that maybe they got rusty during the time off.

They will have to travel the hard road -- probably three road games unless Baltimore springs some surprises -- but this team has shown it can win on the road. Heaven knows, it hasn't handled home-field prosperity in the past.

In my addled mind, anything short of an appearance in the AFC Championship Game is a disappointing season. Ordinarily, I would say anything short of a Super Bowl would be a disappointment, but given how and where they started, how far they've come back and how hard it's going to be to reach the conference final, I'm willing to lower the bar just a bit.
But they've got to beat San Diego, at the very least.

And if they don't?

What will history say about Manning, at least at this point in his career? He will leave the game someday owning every statistical record, and for all we know, he might win a couple of more Super Bowls, but at this point, a loss would make him 7-8 in the postseason with some very ordinary numbers. That's not the record of a legendary quarterback. Call me crazy, but even at this point in his career, I'm not completely sure I trust Manning in the playoffs. Some games he's extraordinary; others he's very average.

What will history say about Tony Dungy? First, a loss would probably be his last game as the Colts coach. But his postseason record would move to 9-10. Clearly, Dungy is one of the all-time great coaches and his regular-season record with two franchises is beyond compare. Nobody, not a quarterback nor a coach, should be judged solely by his postseason accomplishments.

But how do you ignore 9-10 in the postseason? How do you ignore the one-and-dones in Tampa, the one-and-dones here against the Jets, Pittsburgh, San Diego and, perhaps again, San Diego?
The Colts now are playing for more than a chance to reach the Super Bowl; they're playing for their place in history. There may be more 12-win seasons, more postseason chances, but these kinds of runs don't last forever. So the question is what they do with this opportunity, as good an opportunity as they've ever had.

If they can run the football, even a little bit, even as a mere threat to keep the linebackers and safeties honest, they can go to Tampa. The record doesn't lie: Playoff teams that don't run don't go deep into the postseason. But, then, the record said teams with lousy run defenses don't win Super Bowls, so in 2006, the Colts' porous run defenders turned into the Monsters of the Midway.

San Diego beckons. And history awaits.