I can't!!! I WONT!!

Tonight at 8 PM the um grizzlies play the Villanova Wildcats for the division I-AA national championship.  Let's make one thing perfectly clear.  I will never, ever root for the grizzlies to win in football. Ever.  Not on your life.  "Oh, cmon Chip, they're a Montana team".  I don't give a rats ass. Just because some  map makers got drunk 140 years ago and included eastern Idaho as part of our great state doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm not rooting for them. In fact, I'm wearing blue today for the Wildcats.  They have the same colors as Malta so you have to love them.

I don't like Nova's chances tonight.  The griz are playing pretty good and were just in Chattanooga last year.  That gives them a big edge as this is Nova's first title game ever.

I'm not going to break down the game.  It doesn't matter as its all basics, but I will tell you why the u.m. sucks.  They produce lawyers and journalists.  They give degrees in forestry management.  The town is infested with hippies.  They have smog alerts.  Yes, in Montana, you can have a smog alert if you live in the "insert enema here" town.  I know they teach math because they have an accounting program but I can't believe that their math curriculum is anything more than beginner sudoko. 

The real reason I hate them goes back to 1991.  While watching the Cat-griz game (which it had ALWAYS been called, even by griz fans. Its another way you can tell the bandwagoners, real griz fans still call it "Cat-griz"  BW's call it "griz-Cat"  it just sounds gay that way) I noticed all the griz players had the number "7" on the back of there helmets.  The helmets in those days were kind of a urine yellow that offset their calf scour brown colored jerseys, then they changed colors because, hey, who wants to wear piss and turd brown?  Anyway, I saw the seven, they were going for their seventh straight victory.  I looked at the Old Wise One, NYC sister, and said "Those motherfuckers!  Arrogant pricks!"  The griz won that day but the streak would only last ANOTHER NINE YEARS!!  As the streak grew so did the amount of dickhead and bandwagon fans for the grizzlies.  You see everyone loves a winner.

The biggest difference between Cat fans and griz fans, besides class, is that most Cat fans actually attended MSU. Griz fans, even if they went to college, didn't attend um.  Bandwagoners almost everyone.  I know a guy in Malta, drank a lot of beer with him in the day.  Not once did he ever mention that he was a griz fan.  Now, not only is he a fan of the griz, he hates the Cats. Why? Griz fans are like Red Sox fans, they got their asses kicked for so long that when they did start winning they developed an attitude of entitlement.

A list of things I'd rather do than root for the griz:
     1) Gargle with Drano
     2) Be gay (its kind of the same thing, I know)
     3) Root for Notre Dame
     4) Have unprotected sex in Haiti
     5) Vote democrat
     6) have a pet cobra
You get the picture. 

So here's to the Wildcats.  I wish them the best in their quest for glory.  I will donate $50 to their athletic program if they bring me a victory.  Hail to Villanova.

Cats vs Sac State.

So, the Cats dominated PSU on a very rainy Saturday 28-10.  Sac State this weekend and then the dark pink on November 21.  Sac State isn't a game they should overlook but it isn't one they should lose either.  I'm not trying to keep it short but I have a lot to do this week.  I leave Wednesday for Billings then hopping a plane Thursday at 6 AM with The Prodigy for Phoenix. We have some golf and NASCAR to get in so my blogging time is limited.  If the Cats can win, and then beat the minions of hell next week, then they should go to the playoffs.  Lose either of these games and its next year.

The dark pink and gray squeaked out a last second win over win-less Idaho State 12-10.  It's what good teams do but the griz may have been exposed, especially in the secondary.  If there is one thing to learn from this game its that Mariani needs two guys to cover him and when the game is on the line, he is there go to guy.

In South Bend, Navy kicked the living shit out of ND.  Again.  Its the second time in three years and ND got lucky to win last year.  Ask not for whom the bell tolls Charlie. It tolls for thee.

For the  Midshipmen.

Cats vs PSU

Short blog today as I am heading to the center of the universe.

The Cats have PSU in Portland tomorrow.  The Cats will be a little healthier than last week.  Not a lot to report here.  MSU can win out and have a decent shot of going to the playoffs but one loss in the next three sinks any chance of playing after Thanksgiving.

The griz all but sewed up there 370th consecutive conference title last week with a dominating performance against Weber State.  Hmmm, maybe Weber was just a one-hit wonder last year.  The griz and there gay flamboyant head coach will coast until November 21st when the dark pink invades Reno H. Sales Stadium for the 109th "Brawl of the Wild".  The girz are rolling right now.  The only edge I give the Cats is home field.  Maybe rushing defense but that's it.  One thing though, in a rivalry, anything can happen.

ND could still lose two more games this year.  U Conn and Stanford will give Coach Largepants all he can handle.  You can watch this entire scene from the 1979 classic Meatballs or just skip to the 2:24 mark for the reference.



Malta lost in the first round.  I'm seriously worried about the Earth imploding.  The first round? Really? "And then depression set in."  This blog with the youtube thing is really starting to take off. "Talk about massive potential for growth!"  Rated R for nudity.  1:56 mark for the reference. 




Have a good weekend.

Go Cats

There's still hope

Well the Cats dropped a tough one in Cheney last week. Poor tackling to end the second quarter and again on a limp wristed screen play in the third cost them two touchdowns and the game. Don't listen to what the football morons at Bobcat Nation are saying that we lost this because our kicker was out with the flu. That's a bunch of bullshit. Poor tackling and soft underneath pass coverage lost this game. Again.

This week the hapless and winless Bengals of Idaho State come to the chilly slopes of the Bridger Mountains. I can see this as a trap game. ISU is hungry for a win and are hoping to catch the Cats in an emotional state of mind similar to Glen Close in Fatal Attraction where she is sitting on the floor just turning the lights on and off but I don't think they will get that lucky.

Even though the defense isn't up to MSU's usual standards, it is still decent and the offense is really coming together. 592 total yards last week. That is two weeks in a row where we led the conference in total yards. Beware of the Bengals? I'm not throwing anyone under the bus, but I like our chances this weekend. 51 degrees and a light drizzle is the forecast for Saturday. Looks like I'll be drinking beer with my gloves on. Que the jokes about my beer drinking gloves now....

As a part of my continuing effort to bring some culture to you and as a friendly gesture to the fans of ISU, here is a William Blake's The Tyger. I'm here to help.

Meanwhile, in Missoula.....................................

The griz play the Wildcats of Weber State. Weber is coming into Missoula angry at having lost to the Cats in Ogden and not having forgotten giving the griz a playoff victory in Missoula last December. In that game WSU wet themselves, er, turned the ball over to the griz twice inside the WSU 40. Merry Christmas. The griz are playing great in the second half. They are 142-20 at home since they built the Homerdome that is Washington/grizzly Stadium since 1986. That's impressive. Of course when you have home town officials who haven't reffed a game above the peewee level and are on the take, that makes it even harder for opponents to win. Don't believe me? How's this for proof? Nuff said. It finally made news but has been going on for years. Weber is good and has been playing well but beating the griz at home is a tall task. Look for a big second half for the liberal arts/Pizza Hut delivery majors. They take Weber 31-21.

Malta hosts Columbus in the first round of Class B playoff action. The 3-M Company is coming off a 47-0 victory over Wolf Point. Look for Malta to survive the first round but struggle after that. Everyone is playing for second place anyway. Huntley Project is 8-0 and have outscored their opponents 371-31 this season having only been scored on in three games. Their average margin of victory is 43 points. Um, I think they are pretty solid.

Notre Dame backed into yet another victory last weekend. That makes them 5-2 for the season. They could easily be 2-5 but have been able to pull games out of their asses. This isn't the sign of a good football team but with the rest of their pitiful schedule they should go 10-2. They will make a BCS game and be totally dominated. I guess that's something to look forward to. They aren't even worth talking about until the bowl games but that won't stop me. The Bobcats could go 3-2 against whats left for the Irish. Their schedule is that easy. Honestly, if you root for Notre Dame, how do you look yourself in the mirror every day and think that this program is somehow still relevant? If they played a full fledged Big 10 schedule they wouldn't go 7-4. Yeah, this is a program to be proud of.

I wonder if Brady Quinn sold his house yet.

GO CATS!!

The worst blog in the universe

This is the worst blog going. Nine posts this month is all? Pathetic. I've got some good stuff roughed out but just haven't put it in cyber space yet. Pitiful effort for October especially since the one year anniversary of this crappy site is coming up. I'll have to do a montage. Well, I guess a montage without all the pictures and videos anyway.

No pregame this week. Cats haven't won in Cheney since 1990. I would hate to jinx them now.

Headlines from Missoula about how the refs screwed Eastern Washington. Really? That's news? Cheese and rice!!! Do these dumbasses watch any games in Missoula? Was this the first one? There are at least two chickenshit calls against the opposition in Missoula every home game for the griz. The over/under on "how many homer calls" there will be in Washington/grizzly stadium on any given weekend is usually closer to six. The news isn't that EWU got homered. The news is that someone actually decided to say something about it.

In South Bend, Charlie Weiss aka The Touchdown Grimace, is waiting for the real Catholics from Boston College to come to town. I originally thought that BC would beat ND this weekend, but the superfrauds from Cape Cod will be lucky to stay withing two touchdowns. I noticed that the laminated sheet that Charlie Weiss carries on the sidelines is not a playsheet but is actually a menu from Wafflehouse. No wonder Jimmy Clausen looks confused. Its hard to exactly what a "XYZ triple stack with extra sausage" really means in football terms.

Malta will win, but I don't know who they are playing, Plentywood I think. No matter. I'll just look for the Mustangs on the winners side of the score sheet tomorrow.

Go Cats.

It's still painful

Last week's 23-10 loss to the Lumberjokes of Northern Arizona is still bitter. The Cats moved the ball all over the place in the first half and then came out in the second half and sat on their hands. I would rather have watched my nieces play chutes and ladders than the football I witnessed last Saturday afternoon.

Most people are still claiming that the Cats have a tough defense. Really? Is that why they had another quarterback throw for almost 400 yards. Rushing four guys straight up and playing the ice cream soft defense in the middle while your corners start so far off the line they aren't even in the camera view half the time isn't what I call a stiff defense. The offensive play calling has become so predictable that I almost know what plays are coming.

Sorry folks but I am more than a little pissed off. This team hasn't come from behind at halftime under Ash in the last 1 1/2 season. Read that again. If the Cats are losing at halftime, they lose. Period. This trend needs to change. I'm also getting sick of the excuses I'm hearing. Look, I like Coach Ash and what he has done has been pretty good all things considered, but I want to see more and I want to see it now. 6-5 or 7-4 every year isn't going to keep you around long. Ash has maybe two more years after this one to show the fan base that he can coach in this conference.

This week the South Dakota Coyotes come to town. I expect nothing short of a 20 point victory. Anything else will be considered a loss by me. They will be lucky to be 6-5 if they don't elevate their game. Not a lot of optimism after this weekend for me.

Chiefs vs Redskins. Forecast for this game is horrible football.

I'm ecstatic that the Red Sox are out of the playoffs. It used to be fun to root against them. i would watch Ralph drink himself to Bolivian, softly smiling outside, high fiving myself inside. Then Boston won a title and every where you looked there were Red Sox fans, claiming to have been fans all the while. And they all hate the Yankees. Hate them. Yet none of these "lifelong fans" can even tell you the story of the history of why the Yankees are the greatest team in all of sports and the Red Sox aren't even in the top 10. Now, thanks to my LA Angels, I don't have to listen to these ignorant bastards. It used to be fun rooting against the Sox, now it's like a job.

The good news is that now that the Sox (and Twins) are out of the playoffs, baseball will be fun to watch and I can root against the Yankees. I can't do that when the Sox are in. Can't. Won't.

I hate the grizzlies and hope they lose. I will continue to DVR their games so that if they lose, I will have a fun game to watch.

Notre Dame has SC this weekend. I'm not feeling good for the Trojans this weekend. They don't have a real QB and have no real shot at the national championship. However, this will be the most speed ND has seen this year, especially on defense. Twill be interesting. Honestly, I think that SC wins by 20+. Pete Carroll could spend the week in a meth house in Compton and still have his team better prepared than Charlie Weiss. Just sayin.

My sister is coming home for a visit. She usually flies into Billings and I'm lucky if we get to spend two days together. This year she is flying to Bozeman. Going to be here today, going to Yellowstone tomorrow, then the Cat game. Wait. There's been a little change, now she isn't getting here til tomorrow afternoon. No trip to the park. A full day of not being together. I even had the day off tomorrow. Good thing I didn't rearrange my schedule for her or anything. Of course it's not my style to bitch about this kind of thing. I mean, I'm using a full vacation day, had big plans where we I was taking her to dinner, that kind of thing. She doesn't think taking a day off from work is a big deal. Wait again. That's why she's waiting til Friday. Because of a little flight change she is now leaving Friday so SHE wouldn't have to miss a day of work. Good thing this trip isn't all about me.

Rush Limbaugh is not going to buy the Rams. I hope they end up in Mexico City. Or Canada. That's what the NFL deserves. I say this as a Rams fan.


Short today.

Go Cats.

Homecoming and some ramblings

I'm on the road most of this week. Going out in the great state of Montana to see if we can drum up some business so I have to post stuff now as I'll be too swamped Friday when I get back and I'm too cheap to own a laptop so I can't blog from the remoteness of my hotel rooms this week.

First, the Cats had a huge win against Weber this week in Ogden. Although the defense gave up almost 500 yards they came up big in the redzone only letting WSU score once in six trips. I still do not like our pass coverage. Way to soft everywhere, the middle, the edges, the seams. Name it. The Cats need to rush more than four or at least mix in some stunts. When they brought five or blitzed, the completion percentage was way down and turnovers were caused.

Its a big test this weekend against Northern Arizona. The Lumberwussies pissed one down their legs against the dark pink of missoula and squeaked one out against Northern Colorado last week. The Cats have always had a difficult time with NAU. They've also had a tough time following up a big win with a big win. This is a huge, and I mean HUGE game. A must win!! hahahahaha. Honestly though, the only way they make the playoffs is run the table. Big chance for this to be a statement game for the Cats. If they hand NAU their asses and send them home with a big beat down, there will be fear instilled in the rest of our opponents.

Before anyone starts getting big bulges in their pants for Bret Favre's performance last night on MNF, let me just say that there are at least 10 QB's in the NFL that could have done as well if not better than Asshat did last night. Honestly, it was as if Mike McCarthy and the Packers took a dive to apologize. I don't remember a game in my recent memory where the pass rush was as none existent as it was last night from the Packers. I was going to root for the Pack this year but after that pathetic showing, I'd rather watch my Rams complete their perfect 0-16 season.

On those same lines, Aaron Rodgers is a stud!!! Dude got sacked 8 times and still threw for almost 400 yards. McCarthy not kicking the field goal early was as stupid as the people who voted for Obama and it really changed the game late. Rodgers will be fun to watch but the Packers, who really haven't been significant for most of the last ten years, will always be 8-8 as long as McCarthy is running the show. Too bad for Rodgers. He'd look great in blue and gold.

Now that Chicago won't get the Olympics, I wonder if Obama will tend to more important matters, like the war and job creation. Maybe this is all a hoax. Maybe the puppeteers who got Obama elected are keeping him at all these ribbon cutting ceremonies so that the real man in charge can run the country. That man: Joe Biden. I can almost believe that.

When Michelle Tafoya, who knows nothing about football and isn't any fun to look at, kept after Favre last night about the "revenge" factor, I was just waiting for Favre to look at her and say "Hey Michelle, get in the kitchen and make me a pie!" Give him a break already.


Insert in Missoula. (This item temparily out of stock.)

The griz draw a tough one this week in the Cal Poly Mustangs. The Mustangs are ranked anywhere from 13th to 15th depending upon which poll you are reading. The minions of hell are coming off a bye week. I like CP's chances except that Missoula always cheats at home and the refs are bought and paid for so they will have to work extra hard to win this one.

Homecoming parade in Missoula

Yep. That looks like lots of fun. Remember, Cal Poly's school colors are green and gold so wear a little of that somewhere on Saturday with your blue and gold. Go CP Mustangs.

In case most of you don't know, I'm not a huge fan of Notre Dame. They got so lucky last week. Hey, when Ralph is telling me how lucky ND is then you know it's true. They get a week off before USC comes into Southbend.

So, I just returned from a bid opening at a neighboring county. During the course of the meeting the commissioners decided to create an HRDC position and begin advertising. This is a position that currently does not exist. Though my bid was lowest by $24,000.00 it was awarded to one of my competitors for various reasons that I obviously do not agree with. 24 large is a lot of cake and would go a long way toward paying for this new position. Though the rules were followed, the bid process was still circumvented. I never had a chance. The decision to purchase had been made and only the formality of the bid invitations remained. It is what is wrong with politics at every level. The citizens of Madison County got screwed today and they don't even know it.

Glasgow squeaked by Malta 13-7. That sucks. I hate Glasgow.

All right things to do and miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.

Random thoughts #13, short version

Things that crossed my mind while wondering, well, nothing really.

We are in a recession. The economy is still very shaky. Domestic terror plots are popping up all over and we are fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. President Obama decides to go to Copenhagen to lobby for Chicago to get the Olympics? Are you kidding me? Great leadership. The next three and a half years are going to seem like an eternity.

So Montana's own stammering boob of a U.S. Senator Max Baucus has his own health care bill. "The time for reform is now." Really dipshit? The last 20 years of you asshats in DC not doing anything that hasn't been in your own self interest wasn't a good enough time for you? Thanks for the attention to detail Max. Here's hoping you get syphilis.

It's comments like the syphillis one that keep BG from sending my blog link to her parents. "You don't have to be mean." Yes, yes I do. I can be mean on this blog or go shoot a family of squirrels. Its a no brainer really.

El Paso by Marty Robbins is the greatest country song ever. About this subject there will be no debate.

IM-ing with Ralph and we both commented on how much joy we take in watching each other's teams do poorly. I don't care what you say, that's friendship.

Part of the Baucus plan was to fine you if you didn't have health insurance. Hmmmm. Let's see. If you couldn't afford health insurance, then we are going to fine you. Only in liberal economics does this make any sense. It does lend credibility to the fact that the vast majority of people not insured can afford it and are making other life choices and that this isn't at all about reforming health care but a power grab by King Obama and the rest of the liberal establishment.

I owe President Obama an apology. I was accusing him of serving Clinton's third term. It's obvious that this is Carter's second term only worse. My bad.

Quote of the week from who else but Tyler Durden regarding Roman Polanski"Many of the Hollywood elite defending Roman Polasnki say he shouldn’t go to jail just because he drugged a child then raped her while she begged him to stop, and that he’s already suffered enough by living his life in exile. It’s easier to understand that part if you pretend that he’s American. He’s French, so I’m not sure how a French guy living in France is considered “exile” but whatever. The point is he’s suffered. Or something.

But don’t think that Roman is unwilling to pay for his crimes. In fact he’s agreed to be placed under house arrest. Specifically, this house. This chalet outside Gstaad, Switzerland, where singing bluebirds presumably pull your sheets back in the morning and Mr Sun gives you a big thumbs up. Oh that poor man. He’ll never make it!"

I see that Brady Quinn is no longer the starter for your Cleveland Browns. Strange that. What with his hefty 62.9 quarterback rating and 1 touchdown pass this year. Is Eric Mangini mad? How can you bench someone from such a quarterback factory like Notre Dame? I mean it's produced Joe Montana and...well...goddammit if Joe "Big Sky" Montana isn't good enough for you than I don't know what to tell you. I mean Alabama has only produced Bart Starr, Joe Namath and Ken Stabler. Two of those guys are in the Hall of Fame and Stabler should be. You can have all the Heisman's in ND. Alabama produces NFL Hall of Famers and in the end, I really think that's what matters. Oh yeah, and real national championships. You know the ones where Alabama played another super tough team in a post season bowl and won. Not like those pseudo ND ones where they finished a season undeafted and then went and hid in a cave. Fags.

Ralph and I talk a lot on MSN instant messenger. He has it set up so that when I'm typing his display says "blah, blah, blah is typing". That's actually pretty funny. I'm more surprised that he had the skills to figure that out. Guy types like he has 5 thumbs and a hook.

Kind of a short random nothingness this week but you get what you pay for.

Cats vs Weber

Well, well, well the Cats go to Ogden tomorrow to take on Weber State in what is the first of seven "must win" games for the Bobcats. Don't you love the term "must win"? Like some games aren't must win. I know, if you've clinched your division blah, blah. Still, all games are must wins, especially if you root for MSU. Weber is tough. They are ranked 11th in the I-AA and have the best QB in the conference. I wish I felt good about this game but the truth is that I don't. Yes, the Cats looked better against UNC than they did against Dixie State, but I still wasn't blown away especially on the offensive side of the ball. I know that Coach Ash plays conservative and that he limits the plays he runs. That's all fine and dandy if you're the cream of the conference. My problem with that approach is that when it comes time to let it all hang out, your players don't know what to do. I love seeing the Bobcats blow teams out. It relaxes me. Beer tastes better as does whiskey and vodka, hell pick a drink, it tastes better when the Cats are up by 30. And I don't overly excited and spit my sunflower seeds into the hair of the lady sitting in front of me. I can't remember her name. Lovely woman and her husband is a rowdy rooter. It will be fun to see how big there three girls are this year.

The fact is this, if the Cats lose more than one conference game, they have no chance at the post season. They have the talent, they have the coaches. It just a matter of execution and desire. Tomorrow will really show me what this team is made of.

Meanwhile, in the land of the dark pink.........

The grizzlies have the weekend off before taking on Cal Poly next week for homecoming in Missoula. If you ever get a chance to go to homecoming in Missoula, pass on it. Its the largest mixture of hippies and potheads outside of a Phish concert that you can find in the western hemisphere. The grizzlies backed into a win at Fagstaff last week (oops, forgot the "l". No I didn't. Its what they deserve for handing one to the griz). As I stated two weeks ago "There is something about NAU and how they just make a mess in their pants when they play the griz. "

I really don't know how I can be right this much and not have my own sports talk show. Its amazing really. I truly am a diamond in the rough. And how much fun would it be to be able to make fun of grizzly fans and Irish fans every week? I don't thnk the amount of fun could be measured in human terms.

Speaking of the Irish, they truly backed into one as well. Are you fucking kidding me Purdue? Are you trying to make Jimmy Clausen look like the second coming of Joe Montana? I hope the Boilermakers lose every game this season after that pathetic defensive stand. Clausen could have thrown left handed on that drive and the Purdue defense couldn't have stopped him.

This week the Irish get my Washington Huskies. This is a much improved Husky team and will be the first really good defense the Irish have seen all year. Look for Clausen to get hit often and spend a lot of him on his back (as opposed to all fours like he's used to heyoooooooooo!!). Also look for Coach Lardbelly to finish of a 24 inch pizza by himself at halftime. Don't you Irish fans get excited if they win this one. UW is still a team on the rebound so this is a no win situation for the Irish. Unless they come away winning by 20, this is a defeat.

The 3M Company takes on Glasgow this week. I don't think there is any other town except for maybe Chinook that I love seeing Malta beat. I was going to say "I don't think there is a town I hate more except for maybe Chinook than Glasgow" but I changed it to be more positive. Its all part of the kinder, gentler me. That and the fact that my dad was born in Chinook so I really don't hate the town. Actually, I feel sorry for the kids from Chinook. Their mascot is the Sugarbeeters and their school colors are orange and black. It breaks your heart actually. Knowing those poor little buggers have to root for a member of the tuber family (beta vulgaris). Is this a mascot that sends fear into the heart of an opponent? I think not.

Look at its little arms churning the eggbeaters!! Its hilarious. I expect to see something like this on Yo Gabba Gabba. Anyway, I do hate Glasgow and hope the Mustangs party stomp the hell out of them. Malta's D has not given up a point the last two games but Glasgow has some talent (finally) and this should be a good game.

Alright, that's all for now. So here's how we are rooting 1) for the Cats over Weber, 2)the bye week over the u of m, 3) the Huskies over the nutless wonders from Southbend, and 4) the Mustangs over Glasgow.

Enjoy your weekend.

Go Cats!!

Cats vs UNC

Well the home opener for the Bobcats was a check in the win column. It was more of a struggle for the Cats than it should have been. The Cats turned it over four times and hung on for a 23-20 victory. The biggest negative from the game is this. Three step drop or no three step drop, the Cats seldom pressured the quarterback. When you get lit up for 400 yards by a D-II quarterback, I'm not ready to take excuses as to why to easily. The good news is that the Cats turned it over four times and the game was never really in doubt. Dixie scored with 30 seconds left to make it 23-20 so it wasn't quite as close as the score indicated. A win is a win but but there is no way they win against anyone in the Big Sky if they don't play better defense.

The other good news is that a lot of young players saw plenty of action. If they can shore up the press coverage on the corners and get some pressure on the QB they could be pretty good.

The best part of the day was sitting on the deck of athletic director Peter Fields' box and drinking his ice cold beers. Jan Stenerud was in the box as well. On of the good guys in the NFL. Whats that you say? You didn't know he was a graduate of MSU? Read is biography. Its pretty cool. By the way, he is in the FREAKIN NFL HALL OF FAME!!!!! How many griz are in the hall of fame? About as many teeth as are in a chicken's mouth.


(L to R) MSU grad former Bobcat great and NFL Hall of Famer Jan Stenerud, MRM, and Bob T.

In the land of the dark pink, the griz travel to Flagstaff to take on Northern Arizona. I'm going to DVR this game but really I don't know why. There is something about NAU and how they just make a mess in their pants when they play the griz. I don't think this year will be any different. The griz played alright against a mediocre Portland State team in missoula last week. Recent history suggests that the griz win this in a walk. Makes me almost puke in my mouth.


Roberta Hauckaloogie would have made a great Nazi. Hitler would have loved this guy.



So the goldenhomos of Notre Dame backed into a win at home last week against Michigan State. Remember, the Spartans beat the Bobcats in East Lansing. If you think for two minutes if the Irish could come to Bozeman and get away with a win, you are sadly mistaken. Poor coaching by the Spartans down the stretch cost them a victory in South Bend. This after Michigan totally dominated the Irish in Ann Arbor the week before. ND is now 2-1. Here is how they finish. 9-3 at the best and they could still easily go 6-6. They gave up 68 points the last two weeks and still have to play USC, WA and Stanford all off which have more speed and better coaching than the Irish. Boston College has given them fits the last few years as have Navy and Pitt. Combine this with the fact that Charlie Weiss sucks and well, you just don't get your hopes up if your an Irish fan. If Weiss was a non-Caucasian, he'd be fired by now. They will probably beat Purdue this week but I say they still give up 24 points. Be careful though, this could be a trap game. Purdue played Oregon tough on the road before wetting themselves against Northern Illinois. It depends on which Purdue team shows up. If we get lucky and Purdue can pull this out, it could be the start of a 4 game losing streak for the Irish. Keep your fingers crossed.

Charlie Weiss reacts to his week two loss against Michigan.

Malta crushed Colstrip at homecoming for the Mustangs this past Friday 26-0. This team is young and probably won't make a deep playoff run, but they do have the potential to ruin a season for a team or two.

Lets look at a couple of NFL players before we go. First there's Brady Quinn. Has an outstanding QB rating of 66.9. That puts him 27th out of 32 in the NFL. Pretty lofty company there Brady. Way to live up to the hype. At his current rate, he will throw 8 touchdowns and 16 interceptions this year. I'm sold on this guy. Dust off a place for him in Canton right now.

Bret Assclown in Minnesota hasn't thrown a pick yet. Hmmmmm. Childress must really have something on Favre to keep him this reined in. Of course when you're shot putting the ball five yards on screen plays, its tough to throw a pick. Minnesota hasn't played anyone of note yet but look for Farve to try to turn it loose this Sunday against a tough 49er team. His ego will not let him sit idly by and let Adrian Peterson be the hero. Not for one second. He is ready to show us all that he "can still play" and that "no one has more fun out there". I can hardly wait for him to screw over the Vikings. It will be the highlight of the season.

Cats vs Dixie State

We are two days away from the season home opener for the Bobcats who begin their dark horse quest for their fourth national championship. Last week's game was not the beginning of the quest. It was the money game. $650,000.00 to go to East Lansing. I listened to the game on XM and my way to Billings (yes, it was on XM. That's how the Cats roll baby). I DVR'd it at home and watched it Monday. I honestly didn't think the Cats looked horrible. Despite losing 44-3, their were some bright spots. They didn't turn the ball over. They didn't kill themselves with penalties (7 for 55 yards), and they kept hitting til the end.

Akpla should have caught at least three more passes. If he does, they may have put another 7 or 14 on the board. He and Iddins were just a bit off it seemed. The balls were catchable though so I'm hanging this on Elvis. Ricky Evans and Everette Gilbert both looked great and I expect big things. CJ Palmer should be the feature back and getting the ball 20 times a game. Evans and Gilbert are true freshmen while Palmer and Akpla are sophomores. That right there is enough to get you excited.

The biggest thing you could see is the speed difference (do you hear me Van Diest?). Michigan State is going to be a top 25 program this year. Their defense is great and they will come together offensively to crush the homos from ND in a couple of weeks. You could tell the Cat players were just off in the angles they took in their tackles because they haven't seen speed like that this fall. Our corners are young and got exposed but I firmly expect them to improve with every game and have an impact with turnovers by mid-season.

Dixie State comes to town this weekend. I don't make predictions on this blog as it has been the kiss of death for the Cats. Let's just say I expect the Bobcats to play much better. I think their will be a lot of guys seeing playing time this weekend on both sides of the ball for the Cats. Did I mention that I am sitting with AD Peter Fields in his box for the game? I didn't? Well, I am going to sit with Peter and drink as much of his beer as he will let me. Maybe I'll wander out onto his observation deck and take some action photos while I'm at it.

Meanwhile, in the land of soot and smog..................................

Sign entering Missoula
The u of m travels to Mexifornia to play UC Davis. I have no idea what to expect here. The griz will be tough and I'm sure they've already greased the officials for this game. I look at UCD's schedule from last year and wasn't overly impressed. They lost to a couple of Big Sky Conference teams that the griz rolled so this should be another game for Coach Roberta to pad his W-L record.

Coach Bobbie at the post game last week. Looks like he's been working out.

The big game for the grizzlies is on October 10th when Cal-Poly comes to the smog infested dump of Missoula to play the dark pink for homecoming. If it wasn't homecoming for the Bobcats, I'd drive to Missoula, cover myself in Lysol and go root for the Mustangs.

Speaking of the Mustangs, the 3M Company travels to Huntley Project to play the defending state champions. After squeaking by Conrad 14-12 last week, the Mustangs face an even bigger challenge this week. This will be a tough test for Malta. Huntley is a great program. They are well coach, always prepared and never need any motivation to get up for this game. The winner of this game will almost assuredly be the favorite to win the Class B crown.

In South Bend, the Irish rolled over an inept and highly overrated Nevada team. Nevada? Really? The vaunted "tough schedule" of the Irish impresses me yet again. Coach Eatseverythinginsight will have a little more of a challenge this week. Even with Michigan's program sliding further into obscurity they are not Nevada. I may have to DVR this just to see how the Irish look. The Sports Pickle has a great write up on the Irish this year. Give it a read if you have a moment.

Coach Weiss leaving practice Tuesday.

I'm adding a new feature this year. It's part of my "Bret Favre hasn't been a relevant QB in at least five years and is only playing for his own personal records" campaign. I call it BFHBARQIALFYAIOPFHOPR for short. Each week I'll break down Favre's performance and give you the insight you yearn to receive from the World Wide Leader in sports but never get. Favre's touchdown to interception ratio is at an even 0-0. I predict no less than 28 picks this year and not as many touchdowns as the Viking will not make the playoffs. If my brother Bill is correct, Favre quits by week six. Oh please God, oh please.

Well that's all for now. Go Cats!!

Two Days Til Kickoff!!

At long last, it's time to write about college football. The Fighting Bobcats of Montana State University travel to the two part state of Michigan to play the MSU Spartans. The Spartans are ranked just outside the top 25 in the pres-season polls as are the Bobcats in I-AA. The Spartans are in for a bit of a scrap I'm afraid. We played Minnesota tough as hell last year and Texas A&M tough the year before that. These guys are intimidated by the big noisy crowds. Oh, yeah, and we need the money. Look for a great game by Buchanan candidate Dane Fletcher as well as Brad Smith and Jody Owens . I also think that we are going to rush for 100 yards and that Denarius McGhee from Trinity High School in Texas will turn some heads when he gets a chance to play. While we are big enough on offense to hang with these guys, in the end their speed will make the difference. I can't believe I bet Lungdart $20 straight up on this game.


Some of the Spartan faithful. Not that there's anything wrong with that.




Meanwhile in Southbend, Coach Lardbelly has once again been given one of the easiest schedules in all of college football. While I don't think they can win seven games, my friend and college football guru Wit the Wizard (WTW),says the Goldenhomos are good for nine. Nine! It almost makes me puke in my mouth. He also says that if Charlie doesn't win at least 8, he is out of a job. That would suck. WTW also says that Chucky aka Jon Gruden is already being rumored to take over the job. I will admit that a Gruden coached Irish team would be something to fear. Unlike a Weiss coached one. The only thing people are afraid of is seeing Charlie at the all you can eat buffet.

Coach Weiss at last week's press conference.




Just west of Bozeman about 200 miles is a liberal arts school that has a decent football program. Yes the dark pink and gray will suit it up as well this weekend against some NAIA program on the downswing. Coach Bobbie Hackaloogie has to keep padding his win stats. Doesn't want to get exposed for being a chop of a coach. I only have two favorite teams. The Bobcats and whoever is playing the grizzlies. Like the guy says, "I wouldn't root for the grizzlies if they were playing Iraq". The game to watch this year will be the the grizzlies and Cal-Poly. Cal Poly has a score to settle after the griz backed into a win last year. It's um's homecoming as well. In the meantime, we will quietly be making a run of our own, setting up for a conference title battle in the 109th Brawl of the Wild game this November. Bobcat Stadium is where grizzly title hopes go to die.

The admissions director at um.

I don't know how the Malta Mustangs are going to be. The should win their district but the chances of them competing for a state title this year is not that good. Only expect them to make it to the quarterfinals for like the 15th time in 16 years. Who knows though, they may sneak one out.

Random thoughts #11

Things that cross my mind while relishing in my fifth straight "Match for the Cap" victory.

Life is so short we don't get to realize it. Its a flash in time. My dad was 86 when he died almost 15 years ago. 54 when I was born. When I turned 18 and he was 72, he told me that the rest of my life would pass faster than the first 18 years. He lied. Its been faster than that but its still a lot of fun.

Women are complicated. Once you realize that, the battle is easier. I will say this, trying to figure them out is a task. I'd rather contemplate the physics associated with time travel. Just sayin.

Baseball is the best sport on the planet. Though I don't follow it like I used to, its still awesome. There is more going on in two innings of a baseball game than in four quarters of football.

Speaking of my dad, I wished I would have listened to him more. I am glad that I decided to start paying attention more the last few years of his life. There is no way I'd be where I am if I hadn't.

If this health care passes in any form resembling any of the five bills as they are presented, we are sunk as a nation. We are the most powerful and BEST nation on earth but will become the biggest third world country on the planet.

I lied to my father once and got caught. It still hurts me when I think about it. I never lied to him again. Have I lied since then, yes, but in almost every instance sex was involved.

If I was a dog, I would want my adopted sister Monika to be my master. My dog has it good, but Stoli lives a dog's dream.

I never knew I would like having a flower garden this much.

Treat people the way you want to be treated. It's easy when you do it. If they are mean in return, lay in bed at night and plot how to ruin their life. I'm not saying to go out and ruin it, just plot it out. Its good therapy. I guess you could let it go as well. It's a coin flip really.

How did Rachel Nichols get a job on ESPN? Wait, I know how and it wasn't her looks (wink, wink). I've dumped better looking women than her. I'm not bragging as most of those were probably mistakes. Honestly though, she tells me absolutely nothing about any sport that I don't know. She's a female Mike Golic. Get in the kitchen and make me a pie!

Bombay gin and ginger ale may sound like a good combination, but trust me when I say it really isn't. Thunderbird wine and Ranier is a better combination and yes, I've had both.

When I was a kid, my dad would let me shave with him. Lather me up and give me an old single edge razor without the blade. It was a lot of fun. He told me how fast life would go by, he didn't tell me how much shaving every day sucks. Thanks for the full beard Pop. I still cuss you under my breath at least once a week for holding back what a pain in the ass shaving is. Of course, I'm sure he was just grateful to have a sharp razor. That's how he was.

Writing is good therapy.

I wish everyone success, except our current congress and their attempt to take my doctor away.

What's the difference between "virgin" olive oil and "extra virgin" olive oil. I think I know that regular olive oil is no longer a virgin, but how do you get to be an extra one?

Less than 20 days til the Cats kickoff.

I'm hoping for Notre Dame to win 9 games and go to a BCS bowl and get crushed. No. That's a lie. I hope they go 5-6. They won't though. There schedule is softer than a newborn's stool and there coach smells worse.

Safe journeys,

Chip

Less than 30 days until fall drills

Which one of the following was NOT a quarterback for the University of Notre Dame?


A:



B:

C:

If you guessed "C" then you are a huge ND fan. I watch a lot of college football and honestly didn't know which one it was. Congratulations.

Notre Dame is a joke (like we didn't know that)

Well, you have to hand it to the most overrated football program in the history of the NCAA. At their website there is a nice profile of head numnut Charlie Weiss. Funny, how this profile has no mention of the 2007 season. Oh, they go on and on about how well they did with their powder puff schedule in 2005 and 2006 and how they went to BCS bowls where they were CRUSHED like the bug program they are, but nothing about the losing season in 2007. How many wins again? Three? Two more than they should have had. Then in 2008 they qualify for some bowl game that only 17 people tuned in to watch, won the game and thought they had won the national championship. I guess when you win your first bowl in a decade and a half you can get excited.

Excuse me but why aren't they mentioning Charlie's last two seasons? Aren't they embellishing his accomplishments just a bit? Didn't they fire George Leary for his lies? This great institution doesn't have a double standard does it? No. Not Notre Dame.

Weiss takes a much needed "nutrition" break while on a recruiting trip.

According to ND fans, who are counted as the least knowledgeable and most obnoxious in all of college football, ND had another great recruiting year. Oooooooooooooooooh. Seven wins against one of the easiest schedules in all of college football isn't out of reach this year ND fans. Get excited about playing in the Syrup Bowl in Montpelier this year. Yippee.

Notre Dame is the first school to hand out "competition" ribbons to all of their football players. Mediocrity has truly found its home in South Bend and I couldn't be happier. Another 6-6 season is just around the corner. Be proud Irish fans.

This statue of Charlie Weiss was erected to commemorate his first,and probably only, bowl win.