Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Random Thoughts

Things that cross my mind while wondering if Shane really died.

Is there any doubt that if Bobbie Hauck had been a member of the Cobra Kai dojo, he would sweep the leg without hesitation?

Why do Europe and the U.S. have different shoe sizes? Don't give me the metric system either Maybe Europeans are so got up in the "big feet" lore that the have a larger system. They're too stupid to know that big feet just mean big shoes.

I do not believe that you will be able to walk into the Scoop and still not smell like smoke after Jan 9th, 2009. There is so much residual smoke in everything there that you will always smell it in your clothes.

Why doesn't anyone count back change anymore? It's not that hard.

I agree with whoever said, "if there aren't dogs in heaven, then I don't know if I want to go."

When I talk, does it sound like I have a Wisconsin accent?

I'm glad that Ford doesn't make airplanes.

I found some pictures on the internet of bigfoot talking a bath. If I sent it to the Hutterites do you think they'd get the message?

I came up with the invention of the two-strap golf bag at the Sleeping Buffalo in 1983. The next vision I have like that I will definitely take advantage of. I think I invented the the drink hole on the styrofoam cups as well, but that might have been Rex Kaufman.

The only good thing about the merger between Sirius and XM is that I should be able to get NASCAR on the radio again for next season. Other than that the Sirius music stations suck.

If you thought there was a racial divide in this country before November 4th, wait until after the inauguration. If "The Messiah" doesn't play his cards right, this country will be divided and financially crippled irreversibly.

The biggest problem facing this country isn't the financial crisis but the way people choose to be informed. Laziness breeds ignorance and ignorant people shouldn't be allowed to vote. Or reproduce.

I hate that I'm 45 and still get zits.

I don't like having to trim hair off of my ears.

If you want to find a good employee, ask prospects if they've ever had a paper route. If you can deliver papers at 5 AM during a blizzard, you are dependable.

According to my brother Bill, you know you are hungover when bacon doesn't taste good.

Defining friendship is one of the most important things you will do with your life. Have good definition of what a true friend is and you will have plenty. Regardless of who makes the cut, treat people the way you want to be treated. Until they are rude to you, then tell them they are pricks and go about your business.

My friend John Craig told me a few years ago that he had seen my ex-wife. He said she had put on some weight. I told him if she got hit by a bus, I'd get both my wishes.

I'll be on the way to Sheridan for Thanksgiving. Going to see The Prodigy's new baby and shoot some pheasants. If I don't post for a couple of days, that is why.

Root agains Nebraska on Friday and Notre Dame on Saturday. Hope Texas State upsets the griz. Most importantly, find the little things to be thankful for. A dry warm house, a full belly, cable, whatever. Remember that most of the world will never have these so make sure that you look at the big picture.

Safe journeys,


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