Friday, February 13, 2009

Random thoughts #5

Things that cross my mind while wondering how I've made it this long.

The thing I like best about 70's music is that you have a couple of verses, a chorus, a great guitar solo, another verse then the chorus until the end. Today's music has so little to offer IMO.

What is it about having a Subaru Legacy that makes people think they can drive 70 on snowpack? Every time I meet one of these transplanted California pukes I hope they are going to end up in the ditch wrapped around some ranchers prize Angus bull so it really costs them a lot of money. I know its not very Christian of me but, fuck em.

So President Teleprompter wants to wear polos in the Oval Office instead of a suit. Nice to see a man respect the highest office in the world buy starting a "casual" dress attitude. How far are we from Blue Jean Friday?

No matter how tough the near future may be, there isn't one person reading this who has it tougher than their parents.

Starting over is never easy. Whether its a new job, a project around the house or a relationship. Usually starting over means that somewhere in the process a mistake was made. The key to remember when having to do something a second (or third or fourth) time is to not make the same mistake. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is the best definition of insanity I've come across.

Do liberals even read newspapers? Besides the New York Times I mean.

Sales are slow. I've asked a couple of friends to sacrifice a chicken to help me out. I'm waiting for that to happen although I'm still mystified by the magical powers of yardbird.

Roger Goodell totally rigged the Superbowl. His spinelessness as NFL Commissioner is rivalled only by that of Bud Selig. And David Stern. Just show me the money.

The Bobcats have found a pipeline into Texas to recruit some great football players. These kids look like quality students as well. There are a couple that may have a struggle but I have no doubts that Coach Ash will have them lined out. I would love to see us win another national championship before the pukes at Missoula win another one. We need a two championship cushion.

England was covered in snow last week. Global warming? Yeah, that's what I thought. Even though global warming can be dispelled at every turn, it's still at the forefront of political issues that our new dipshit in chief is going to tackle.

Is it just me or do guys like our current President make an Ivy League education decrease in significance. Our last four presidents are all Ivy League men and there isn't one of them who is smarter than me. Not fucking one of them. So, how does having a Harvard, Yale etc education matter more than having one from Montana State? Because the media says so? I knew two kids in my college years that went to Ivy League schools and transferred to MSU. Both were literature majors and both said MSU was much harder. Good enough for me.

I'm single again. You all know the type I'm looking for. Attractive and top heavy. I'm adding to the list: deaf and mute. I can do all the talking myself and women don't listen anyway. So, just so we're all on the same page, I'm looking for a hot deaf woman who can't talk and has big breasts. I'm probably going to have to expand my search past the greater Bozeman area to find one of these. I'm sure there is a website for them. Something like . Keep me posted.

My list of must see television is Top Chef, Family Guy, Burn Notice and the Lumber Liquidators Professional Bowlers Association tour.

The biggest trick the devil ever pulled is convincing the human race he doesn't exist. The biggest trick the media ever pulled is getting Obama elected. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."

If the guy who sings the jingles comes out with a greatest hit CD I'm buying it. Kid has more talent than the entire band of Coldplay.

So with all the news of Alex Rodriguez using steroids, we have to have a short conversation. Steroids are rampant in baseball, but they are in every sport. Football, basketball, swimming, track, etc. So what's the big deal with baseball? The big deal is this: no other sport revers its hero's individual accomplishments more than baseball. You can be a great hitter, like Ted Williams, and never win a world championship but your spot among the pantheon of baseball is forever reserved. Your place among the greatest is etched in stone. In other sports, your place among the greats is very dependent upon how many championship teams you were on. In baseball that is very secondary to the individual numbers you put up. This is why steroids in baseball is such a big deal. No other team sport is based upon truly individual effort as is baseball.

While we're on the subject, the steroid era officially begins with the 1996 season. That's the year Brady Anderson of the Baltimore Orioles hit 50 home runs. FIFTY!!He hit 16 on 1995 and 18 in 1997. Yeah, no steroids here. Just a goooooooood training program in 1996.

Quote of the week from The Prodigy after he had just lost at "knock poker" for about the 20th time in a row "This is as much fun as driving from LA to DC on a flat tire." Maybe you had to be there. The utter disgust with constantly being dealt a 2 a 3 and a 7 that were all off-suited and then drawing another 2 was absolutely sidesplitting. I lost $40 on Saturday and still fared better than him. Tommy G and Schmales made out with all the money. It was my birthday dammit!

Going to Vegas in a month with Ralph. The last time we went on vacation together was St. Thomas in 1983. We were young and a long way from home. 26 years of seasoning since then. Hmmm. Wonder what this will be like?

When we went on vacation in 1983, I had dark brown hair. Have I mentioned that?

Montana is the fourth largest state. Yesterday I drove 373 miles. I was never more than 100 miles from Bozeman and I never crossed another state line.

Speaking of my travels. I had lunch in Boulder. I can't remember the name of the place. The Ox somethingorother but they had the best patty melt sandwich in the state. When I run this route again in three weeks, you can damn sure bet that I'll try my best to be in Boulder for lunch.

For the record, the best chicken fried steak is at the Cateye Cafe right here in Bozeman and the best hot beef sandwich is Eddie's Corner. Some people might make an argument on the chicken fried steak. The Western Cafe isn't bad and Gordy in Malta burns a good one at the Hitchin Post but the hot beef sandwich at Eddie's is the best in the state if not the entire galaxy. I leave my mom's early when I'm home visiting just so I can have lunch there. I bet I've had 50 HB's at Eddies and not one single bad one.

Valentine's Day is a crummy "holiday". Fucking Hallmark and florists.

Go buy ammunition with every spare dollar you have.

I'm ready to play some golf. Just looking outside is giving me the itch. Sure, its only 30 outside but 50 is coming.

That's it for now. Everyone enjoy the weekend. I'm snowmobiling tomorrow and the Daytona 500 is Sunday. I would like to formerly apologize to all the rednecks I made fun of for the first 35 years of my life. NASCAR is freakin awesome.



h said...

Great random thoughts especially on baseball. I did actual research for a post on Anti-Nascar bigotry once. Glad you've repented.

The FACTS about Nascar and it's fans refute the stereotype, big time.

Milk River Madman said...

Chef Troll,

My first race was the Daytona 500 in 2000. Been to Texas twice, Phoenix twice and Bristol once.

I've had the "discussion" with liberals about the NASCAR stereotype and you are 100% correct. Funny how when facts are presented to them, the discussion changes. Or gets louder.

We're having finger steaks and grilled mahimahi at Casa de Gibbs for the race today.

Looking forward to my first participation in Mute Monday tomorrow.

Boogity boogity boogity. LETS GO RACING BOYS!!