Random thoughts #3

Things that cross my mind while wondering why women don't think like men. After all we are the same species and men are really simple.

Do women think that their turn signals will burn out from overuse? Is that why they refuse to use them? Hint: there is no such thing as "blinker fluid" and it's the lever on the left side of the steering column in every vehicle. Up means you're turning right, down means you're turning left. It's quite simple and extremely helpful to your fellow drivers. Not even trying to be sexist. It's a statistical fact that women don't know there is such a device. You can look it up.

If bald is so sexy, why aren't more women giving me their number? Does it have anything to do with the above statement? No. Can't be true.

If you're going to wait to put your vehicle in four-wheel drive until after you go in the ditch, do the rest of us a favor and go suck on a .357 magnum. Please.

According to my brother Bill, the secret to good chili is cumin.

Rush Limbaugh did a parody about Barack Obama to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon". Now, this might not be news to some of you but I only recently heard of this. The liberal media is of course very upset about this. Hmmmmmmmmm. The Senate Majority Leader called the president "a loser". Our president is constantly compared to Hitler, there is a movement to have him tried for war crimes after his term ends, democrats leaked classified information to the New York Times that put our troops in harms way and aided terrorists, CBS falsified documents to try to swing an election and the liberal media is up set about this? Now, I'm not saying that every liberal is a yellow-spined faggot who would sell out their own mother to save themselves, but the one's that aren't are as common as the Northern hairy-nosed Wombat. Look that up yourself.

If we keep allowing liberals and academics to limit the way we talk through political correct speech, we just as well learn Russian, carry pictures of Stalin in our wallets and address each other as "comrade".

Its been said that those who can't do teach and that teaching is the easiest degree to obtain in college. Now, I have an education degree and it was easy but my ed classes were far more difficult than any political science courses were. So this begs the question: is having a PhD in political science the same as having an associates degree in art? Yes, I think it is.

Speaking of easy degrees. Political science is easy but what about journalism? Is there a more worthless degree than journalism? The profession has no pride, no ethics, no scruples, no integrity no, well you get the picture. When you look at the people who have journalism "degrees" and their levels of intelligence you can't help but wonder if this isn't a direct result of the ADA.

Speaking of journalists, why do we need women in football? They bring nothing to the game. I like Erin Andrews as much as the next guy, she's scorching hot, but when was the last time you heard anyone say anything about her reporting? When was the last time you were watching a football game and learned something about the game from her that you didn't already know? Exactly. I can turn my television to a number of channels to see hot women, when I'm watching football, I want to see the game and learn more about it. Its not asking for much.

I am becoming more impressed by our president-elect every day. His level of narcissism makes Bill Clinton look humble. PT Barnum was right and there are 50 million votes to prove it.


Tom Cruise is in a new movie. I can't remember the name but I think it translates from German into English as "The shortest Nazi".

I went to "Marley and Me" the other day. Don't go if you have a dog. The sniffling begins with about 30 minutes left and the lady sitting next to be was crying her eyes out at the end. You can tell a really sad movie by when the house lights come on and the house lights didn't come on after this. Not during the credits, not until the last person left. Makes "Old Yeller" look like a classic comedy.

The other problem for me with seeing this movie is that my dog is almost 14. Every night that I've come home since seeing the movie she's just been laying on the couch. She's not eating until late at night and it's freaking me out. I feel like Grogan when he said to Marley "you'll let me know, won't you buddy?" I hope my dog lets me know.


My dad didn't think he would live to see a black (or arab, whatever) president. He didn't. He died 14 years ago. Okay, I stole that last bit from Holy Taco but it's damn funny.

I heard something very interesting the other day. It goes something like this. When you love the leader of your country more than your country, be very careful. People who will swear oaths to men over their country will do everything to protect then man even if it means the demise of the nation he leads. Do you hear this you ignorant bastards who call Barry "The Messiah?" I hope he is successful but those people who get weak kneed, faint, and are "moved" by his presence need to get Dr. Kervorkian's number. They are complete losers and have no worth to society. None.


I'm going to miss the Alabama game on Friday. Michigan is in town to wrestle Oregon State and I don't get to see big time wrestling live like this. I don't have TiVo or a DVR so I'll just have to watch the highlights. Its pissing me off.

Take the Chargers over the Colts this weekend. Just a hunch, but I think San Diego has there number.

Is anyone else as happy as I am about the current situation in Dallas? Is Jerry Jones the biggest asshat in pro sports? If he isn't, then please tell me who is. He is trying to be the Steinbrenner of the NFL. The problem is baseball and football are entirely different when it comes to egos. Baseball has tons of them as well, but in baseball you'll always get your at bats and your chances in the field so this keep egos happy. Football has too many guys who want the ball and not enough plays and chances to go around. It relies for more on chemistry and teamwork than baseball ever will and if a team doesn't have it, like Dallas, then they will forever be underachievers. Couldn't happen to a bigger bunch of assholes as far as I'm concerned.

I haven't blogged about "Top Chef" for a while but the quick update is that the dickhead from New York (redundant I know) is gone and the caterer lady from Jersey has elevated her game. Winning a couple of immunity challenges and two competitions. The two Euros are still doing well but Fabio has slipped a little. Stefan is still the man to beat. He's in the best group week after week and is doing it with one hand tied to his apron. We'll see what the new year brings. He's even money right now.

Would someone please call Bobbie Hauck and tell him he got his ass kicked and couldn't beat Richmond if he played them 1000 times. Honestly, is there a worse loser in all of college sports than this prick? I've been following sports for over 30 years at a bunch of different levels and have never seen a worse sport than him. Amazing.

Thank God for autosave.

One of my new years resolutions is to eat a little healthier. More chicken, less red meat. Another is to become a better blogger.

Speaking of the blog, it wouldn't kill any of you to click on an ad once in awhile. You don't have to buy anything but I might actually get paid for this and after all, isn't it always about me?

Happy New Year.

Funny Pictures

Here's some funny pictures I borrowed from the internet. They are public domain if not watermarked.


I call this first one "nerds".

I like this one because I shop at Ross at its so true.

Superman? Who knew? I guess thats why they call it "action" comics. New meaning to the phrase "man of steel"? Wow, that's in poor taste even for me.



Man alive do I like this Schlitz ad. Further proof that I was born 40 years to late.

Clowns and pies? Is that really funny?

Ty Cobb would do it.

Some people don't pay any attention to detail.

So does our new president-elect. He must with what the deal the dark lord made him.

link dump 12/30/08

A great article about the UAW and why we should hate unions in general. From the DC Examiner.

http://www.dcexaminer.com/opinion/Should_UAW_Sell_its_Championship_Golf_Course.html

Does global warming exist? Well, some scientist actually say no. Of course, they aren't after millions in federal research money to spread the myth that can be dispelled by an 8th grader. The same people who believe in global warming are the same people who voted for Barry O and they aren't retarded, they just have a cold. Just a little one.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,468084,00.html

Further proof of why moslems cannot be trusted and why Islam is more of a cult than a religion. Personally, I don't think we should have interfered in Bosnia, but hey, that's my opinion.

http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=N2U5YWFiZTE1YTRkMWJmOTJjZWM3NzAzMjJkNmI0YTU=

Here's some advice for relaxing.

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2008/12/how-to-play-hard-tips-for-workaholics.html

From townhall.com the most memorable quotes of 2008

http://townhall.com/columnists/BillSteigerwald/2008/12/29/2008_-_the_year_in_quotes

From Holy Taco, the 9 lamest commentator puns. Its a good thing he hasn't found this suckass blog yet. On the other hand, it would be cool to make Holy Taco.

http://www.holytaco.com/9-lamest-sports-commentators-puns

One more from Holy Taco about New Year's resolutions of historic figures. Good stuff Maynard.

http://www.holytaco.com/new-years-resolutions-historical-figures

For The Love Of God!!!

Are you shitting me! There are fans out there (Who post under the login "Anonymous" I might add..) who think this Bowl win for Notre Dame is something to comment upon?

IT WAS THE SHERATON HAWAII BOWL...

For God Sakes, this is the most storied program in the history of Collegiate Athletics, the same storied program that happened to beat just their 2nd Bowl eligible opponent of the year. The other being Navy but we've gone there already, for a crowd pleasing 7-7 record.


I think the Packers Head Coach's comments following the win over the 0-16 Lions might be more appropriate:
“I want to politely try to avoid the question here. That’s tough. That’s a tough deal.”


Hey man, if you ND Fans out there can get excited about winning the Hawaii Bowl, I'm happy for ya! But let's establish one thing for certain... Winning the Hawaii Bowl and the excitement it's created is a very clear representation of the State of the Football Program at Notre Dame.

Oh how I long for the arrogance of Notre Dame's past, they used to decline these insignificant Bowls and their petty offerings...


Rally sons of Notre Dame
Sing her glory and sound her fame
Raise her Gold and Blue
And cheer with voices true:
Rah, rah, for Notre Dame
We will fight in every game,
Strong of heart and true to her name
We will ne'er forget her
And will cheer her ever
Loyal to Notre Dame.

Cheer, cheer for Old Notre Dame,
Wake up the echoes cheering her name,
Send a volley cheer on high,
Shake down the thunder from the sky!
What though the odds be great or small,
Old Notre Dame will win over all,
While her loyal sons are marching
Onward to victory!



Rock on Brothers... Rock on!

The end is near

OMG!! OMG!! Notre Dame won a bowl game! I'll blog about this later but this quote from ESPN really puts things into perspective.

"Notre Dame's victory was its first in the postseason since it beat Texas A&M in the Cotton Bowl to end the 1993 season. The Irish also avoided consecutive losing seasons."

That my friends is the true definition of a football powerhouse. I was also informed that Notre Dame has 15 starters returning next year. Yipfuckingeee for them. They should go 8-4 with the faggot schedule they play next year. Its even easier than this year's.

Enjoy your first bowl victory since the Clinton administration Goldenhomo's for next year you will most certainly be crushed in the 2009 bowl season.


As for Hawaii, well, Triumph the Dog says it best. At about the one minute mark.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FfeOgRx_yU

Merry Christmas

I'm preparing to celebrate my 46th Christmas among what the creatures of this planet call "humans". Of the 46, I am preparing to celebrate my 42nd one in Malta, better known as the Capitol of the Hi-Line.

I'm looking forward to the drive home. Well, not really. I'm sure it will snow and be completely shitty. Outside of that though, it will be lots of fun.

I won't be posting for a few days. I wish everyone a safe Christmas season and will be back in a few days.

Merry Christmas to all!

Chip

Your 2008 FCS Champions are the....

RICH-MOND SPIDERS!! CLAP-CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!

RICH-MOND SPIDERS!! CLAP-CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP

RICH-MOND SPIDERS!! CLAP-CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP
I have to apologize for my post on Thursday. If I had known that picking the grizzlies to win would make them lose, I'd have picked them the opening round of the playoffs. Now, I know there are Bobcat fans out there who wanted the griz to win because they're from Montana but lets get a couple of things straight. First, most griz fans are complete assholes who act like they've never won a game before and they would never root for the Bobcats if the situation was different. They act as though they are entitled to the BSC championship and the playoffs every year. There is no arguing that the griz have dominated the conference the last 20 years but the 50 prior to that they were nothing more than a mark on the schedule for any team in the Big Sky. And if we aren't going to pay any attention to history, well then, there are a lot of overpaid teachers (redundant I know) out there who should be looking for work.

Second, just because a couple of mapmakers got drunk 150 years ago and drew a line down the wrong mountain range and we ended up having the shithole of Missoula included with the rest of the great state of Montana doesn't mean I have to root for them, hope they do well or anything else positive. I love my cousins who live there and they really like Missoula. That's good for them. I think it's a stinky shithole inhabited by lazy union liberals and filthy hippies and I for one couldn't be happier that they lost.

Did anyone else notice that not only did the griz lose, they totally got their asses handed to them. The trick play in the first quarter for my Spiders first touchdown was a total "fuck you!" to Bobbie Hauck. You never saw that coming did you, you hooknosed faggot. Awesome.

Many Crowns were consumed during the second half, which is a good thing.

Pooooooooooooooooooooor grizzlies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One more thing, the griz playing for a national championship does not in any way help MSU's program. Not in the least. If you think it does, then just trade in your blue and gold for the shit colors of hippyville and get the fuck out of town. We don't need your support nor do we want it. The griz going to Chattanoogo helps one program and it sure as hell isn't ours. Figure it out for chistsakes.

Well, I'm off to have a breakfast sandwich and some ice tea then finish my Christmas shopping. Going to my good friends the Trombleys for a Christmas party tonight, cleaning the house tomorrow before I head for the Capitol for Christmas.

I was drinking Crown with my good friend Jenny P last night and remembered the quintessential story of why Malta is the center of the universe. It's coming my friends and its 100% the truth.