Top Chef week 4 reviseted. No spoilers.

OK, I said I wasn't going to blog about this but I'm watching it now and are you effing kidding me? Ashley just said the ranchers "are a motley crew". WTF??? Your hair hasn't seen a comb in five years. I have combs!! I haven't used one in ten years. And a brush that was left at my house (why, well that's how life goes). But what I am saying is this, all the combs and brushes in my house have seen more action than this "woman's" hair has and she is calling these guys a "motley crew" give me an effing break. Someone throw me a bone here.

Ash (not Ashley tough to keep them straigt as they are same sex and all) says he thinks he could be a rancher. Hey dickhead, try sticking your arm up a cows ass to try to pull out a calf that's been dead for two days and watch it break in half like my step-brother Chris and I did. The smell almost made me puke. Chris just kept trying to get the calf out but that's an entirely different story. That's being "a rancher" you dickhead (notice I didn't call him "a f*ck, getting soft in my old age).

The guest judge is wearing a hat that I wouldn't bury my dog with. He is an arrogant ass and needs taken down a notch. I'm not shitting you. If you're going to wear a hat like that, you'd better be able to swing a rope and I highly doubt this asshat can. I used to be able to rope. I can rope like an 8-year-old girl these days but I bet my 401k to this buys wallet I can out rope him. There is just something about him that screams "MRM come down here and kick my ass" which I would gladly do. Maybe it's just me but this guy needs taken to the wood shed and given his comeuppance. Humility is a good thing.

OK, now I see the guest judges shirt and I'm even more pissed. God how I want to just have one swing. Just one. I just hate men who dress like women.

Not saying I'm surprised by who won but I am shockedm, shocked at who went home.

Enough Crown. I have to drive to Alder tomorrow for God's sake.