Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Top Chef week 4 reviseted. No spoilers.

OK, I said I wasn't going to blog about this but I'm watching it now and are you effing kidding me? Ashley just said the ranchers "are a motley crew". WTF??? Your hair hasn't seen a comb in five years. I have combs!! I haven't used one in ten years. And a brush that was left at my house (why, well that's how life goes). But what I am saying is this, all the combs and brushes in my house have seen more action than this "woman's" hair has and she is calling these guys a "motley crew" give me an effing break. Someone throw me a bone here.

Ash (not Ashley tough to keep them straigt as they are same sex and all) says he thinks he could be a rancher. Hey dickhead, try sticking your arm up a cows ass to try to pull out a calf that's been dead for two days and watch it break in half like my step-brother Chris and I did. The smell almost made me puke. Chris just kept trying to get the calf out but that's an entirely different story. That's being "a rancher" you dickhead (notice I didn't call him "a f*ck, getting soft in my old age).

The guest judge is wearing a hat that I wouldn't bury my dog with. He is an arrogant ass and needs taken down a notch. I'm not shitting you. If you're going to wear a hat like that, you'd better be able to swing a rope and I highly doubt this asshat can. I used to be able to rope. I can rope like an 8-year-old girl these days but I bet my 401k to this buys wallet I can out rope him. There is just something about him that screams "MRM come down here and kick my ass" which I would gladly do. Maybe it's just me but this guy needs taken to the wood shed and given his comeuppance. Humility is a good thing.

OK, now I see the guest judges shirt and I'm even more pissed. God how I want to just have one swing. Just one. I just hate men who dress like women.

Not saying I'm surprised by who won but I am shockedm, shocked at who went home.

Enough Crown. I have to drive to Alder tomorrow for God's sake.


TROLL Y2K said...

I have a VAGUE idea that the guest judge was a cowboy at one time. Or at least has "Brokeback Mountain" on DVD.

Milk River Madman said...

DVD, lunch box, action figures, the entire "Brokeback" collection. To each their own I guess.

pam said...

I think the guest judge came from Texas so that warranted a ranch theme. However, not one single person did cowboy food. I bet not one cowboy even knows was a ceviche is. Holy crap, this episode was awful. And Ashley whiner gal needs to go soon.

Milk River Madman said...

Pam, I hade no problem with a ranch theme, just for the love of God, buy a mirror and use it. That hat looked liked it was three sizes to smale.

Milk River Madman said...

Smale? I meant small. I am a lousy typist.

5Wood said...

If I'm not mistaken the guest judge is some big shot bbq guy from texas that got his ass kicked on the masters edition this summer. And while im at it couldn't we save about 2 months and just put the 2 brothers and Jen in the final now and get rid of the rest of the garbage. I mean Brian is 3-4 in elimination challenges. I bet he's on some Cooking Enhancing Drugs.

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