Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Tuesday Tunes 6/30/09

I needed some fresh ideas for the playlist to I went to my co-worker Dave for help. Dave's been with us about 5 years now. He's a great hand and he knows his 80's music. So I asked him to come up with some songs and I would make him famous. These are just some hits from the 80's and he covers a lot of ground from some classics to some other songs that you will remember. So give a click and have a listen.

Kym, contact me through my email. You were last week's winner and I'd love to have you come up with a list.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Her pain is gone.

I will remember Farrah this way. The greatest poster of my generation. I never missed Charlie's Angels and didn't watch it as regular when she left the show. I was mad when she divorce Lee Majors. I mean, who divorces the Six Million Dollar Man? She dropped the "Majors" from her last name. When you said "Farrah" everyone knew who you were talking about. I think I'll go home and watch Cannonball Run tonight. Rest in peace Farrah.

R.I.P. Michael

talented, confused
never wanting to grow up
who among us does

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Another road trip

I don't remember which road trip this is. 4 or 5 I think. I think have road trip #2 twice and now I've lost track. Anyway. Here's some pics from my last excursion.

As noted earlier the purpose of this trip was to play golf with my great friend Dan in the 40th annual Steamboat Two-Man Best Ball held at the Signal Point Golf Course in Fort Benton, Montana. Here's' a few action shots I took along the way.

The view of some field between Manhattan and Three Forks.

These next two pictures are of the little hamlet of Townsend, Montana. A nice little community enroute to my final destination.

This is the Missouri River. I will cross the Missouri nine times on this trip. I would have crossed it more but I took the Northwest Bypass in Great Falls thus eliminating two more crossings.

Entering Wolf Creek Canyon between Helena and Great Falls. I don't really want to own a motorcylce but this stretch of road is one where I always say to myself "It would be cool to have a bike here."

I stopped in Wolf Creek at the Oasis to have dinner with my buddy Jeff from Colorado. He was up visiting his brother in Craig. I'm trying to sell him a dozer so I could write off dinner. If you ever get the chance to stop here I highly recommend it. The prime rib sandwich is incredible and the horseradish is home made with plenty of bite. Mmm-mmm.

The Missouri.

The Missouri.

You can't really see it here but there is an old abandoned cabin in this picture. It looked way cooler than this. I need to update my camera but I'm cheap and want a new television more than a new camera.

The green at #1 at Signal Point. Yes, this is the scene that greeted Dan and I for our 11:40 tee time. On June 6th. JUNE FRIKKIN SIXTH!!!! I've never played with a "snow delay" before. The first person who says something about "playing with orange balls" is going to get kicked square in his. Hard.

You can't quite make it out but Signal Point was built in 1967 with some volunteers and funds. yada yada yada. That's not to say that Signal Point is a poor golf course. Quite the contrary. It's as good a nine hole track as there is in the state and this tourney is my favorite golf event of the year.

This is the old bridge that spanned the Missouri in downtown Fort Benton. It hasn't been used for traffic since the late 1960's but you can walk on it. No jumping from the bridge though. That's a rule.

View from the bridge.

Another view from the bridge.

When its 45 degrees outside and the windchill is 38 degrees, may I recommend going to Lehman's in downtown Fort Benton to pass a little time and get the necessary supplies to play today's round. That's right boys and girls 38 windchill. Did I mention that it was June 6th? Oh, and I'm not in Siberia.

Hand warmers and foot warmers. Not the best $7 I've ever spent but in the top 10 that's for sure.

The grave site of Old Shep. Fort Benton's most favorite and loved resident.

Ah, the snow has turned to rain and the course is clearing off. Amazingly, we were only running an hour and a half behind which is pretty amazing. 38 windchill, a steady wind and light, steady rain. You think you're a foul weather player Johnny Miller? Step up with your wallet ready you douchebag cause I'm gonna take your money today.

The next three pictures are of the original structures at Fort Benton.

The Missouri on the drive home Sunday.

A nice little shack not far from the Missouri.

The Commercial Bar in Townsend. Established in 1889. Slogan "Where you're only a stranger once." Well, I'm going to call bullshit on that slogan. In 1991, I stopped at the Commercial on my way to Adrian's wedding in Big Sandy. My brother was driving and I was getting divorced so beer was one of my staples back then. Anyway, I wanted to stop there and have a drink just because I had never been in there. That was 18 years ago and I guaranfuckingtee that if I walked in there today, not one person would look up and say "Hey Chip, good to see you again." So, the slogan is a little much. In my opinion.

Well, that's it. I didn't take any action shots of the tourney itself what with the rain and my numb fingers and all. Anyway, Dan and I put ourselves in contention and actually had a three shot lead with nine to play. With six to play, we were down two and that pretty much sums it up. Neither of us were very happy but like I told Dan "at least we didn't lose it on the front nine Saturday like we usually do." It's the little things.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Liberalism = Hypocrisy

Letters have been published recently calling the tea party protesters hypocrites. Well, if there is one thing liberals know its hypocrisy. After all, it’s the basis of their entire political ideology.

They protect the rights of the guilty while trampling on those of the victims. They claim to be for free speech but are constantly trying to limit what we say through “political correctness” and “hate speech”. They are against capital punishment but favor the slaughter of the unborn. The Constitutional phrase “the right of the people” means an individual right except in the case of the Second Amendment. They told conservatives to “have a sense of humor” when degrading caricatures of Condoleezza Rice were published nationally and then made sure of what was acceptable for President Teleprompter. They want women’s rights but turn a blind eye to sexually oppressive regimes all over the world. They ran on a platform of economic stability, doubled the national debt and called it “stimulus”. If you are successful and conservative, you must have cheated. If you are unsuccessful and a liberal, you are a victim. But I digress.

The arrogance and condescension that is constantly exhibited by the liberal elites is mind boggling. You would think that theses supposed mental giants could recognize that the protest being held on the Fourth of July is ironic but another basis of liberalism is never admitting that you are wrong. Despite what facts may prove otherwise.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Tuesday Tunes 6/23/09

Last week my sister celebrated her 50th birthday so in her honor I am playing hits from 1977 when she graduated from Malta High School. Her nickname when we were kids was "Scooch". She hates it so I named the playlist, "Hits for Scooch". Guest DJaying next week to the first person who can tell me which song on this list is my favorite. Limit two guesses per person. Give a click here and enjoy some music from the greatest decade of music ever. Hmmm, conspciously absent from this list are any Eagles songs. Why is that? Oh, thats right, I'm tired of listening to them.

Also, for you out of staters who follow the shallow, mindless ramblings of a deranged almost cowboy from the northern Montana plains, you can click here to look at the empire I help dominate in Southwest Montana. I work in the Bozeman location. Headquarters as it were. My office is what many call the "Central Nervous System" of the entire operation. No, I'm not a control freak. Not at all.

I had frost on my window this morning. You know what I liked about that? Not a goddam thing! Here's some pics I took on my drive to work this morning. Enjoy your day.

The Tobacco Roots

The Hyalites

The Spanish Peaks

Friday, June 19, 2009

Link Dump 6/19/09

I'm really lazy lately. Guess I'd rather be playing golf and drinking vodka lemonade then blogging. In a tribute to my sloth, here's some interesting stuff I found on the web. Enjoy.

From Holy Taco a montage of people passed out on the toilet.

From I Heart Chaos comes this report about Indiana Jones 5. Five? Are you shitting me? How much money does Lucas need? Whats the subtitle going to be on this? Indian Jones: The Search for the Golden Dentures.

A great article by Larry Elder exposing the myth on why the vast majority of the "45 million" people who "can't afford" health insurance really don't have it. Larry Elder is great to read. I also recommend his book The Ten Things You Can't Say in America.

Cracked has this funny bit on why people were late for work. Its a bunch of photo shopped picks and pretty good.

A super cool video from Right Wing Video of a honey badger battling cobras and puff adders. Great stuff.

US News has this nifty little article about how to keep your wits when you get old. Read this carefully LP.

From Movie Crunch the ten best comedies of the 1970's. I agree with most of these. However, Airplane has to be on this list.

A commentary from Daily Mail on Orwell's 1984.

Don Surber on why the left ridicules women.

Enjoy your weekend!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Tuesday Tunes 6/16/09

I've been a lazy slug of a blogger lately. My Tuesday Tunes theme is 1992. It was a great year. I graduated from my beloved alma mater with an "F" on my transcript that is still there. An "F" in a pass/fail that I refused to do. DO YOU HEAR ME CHRIS LAMB?! I wouldn't write your worthless mean nothing fucking POS "what I did at the career fair" paper if you put a gun in my mouth. You could kiss my ass then and you can still kiss my ass. Not that it affected my steller GPA but still.

So anyway here we are. Well 1992 wasn't a great year for music but I did manage to find a few songs worthy of my high standard of musical taste. So have a listen and think back to the sunny slopes of long ago. Still had beautiful brown hair then. Quarter beers at the Rockin R Bar that blew up this winter. Boot night at the Sundance which is now a casino. Saturday beers at Little John's which is now Mixers. What the hell has happened to my old drinking joints?

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Just Ramblin

Played golf, drank vodka, ate tacos. Thought I should post this before it becomes obsolete. I do want to say how much I like all the Oklahomans who read this mindless blather. Hat tip to Chef Troll. Somehow he found this thing and broadened my horizons. Life is funny sometimes and I'm glad for my friends in the blogosphere.

Things that cross my mind while wondering why anyone would spend $2,600.00 to watch a regular season game at the new Yankee stadium.

Don't you love living in the era of no personal responsibility? I could go on and on but the example I'll use is Manny Ramirez. Drugs are rampant in professional sports. Manny was recently busted for a performance enhancing substance and had this to say "Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me,” Ramirez said in a statement issued by the players’ union. Really? Your physician is so incompetent that he doesn't know which substances are banned or not? My advice to Manny is to get another doctor. Do these people really believe that the rest of us are that stupid? I mean, the rest of us who didn't vote for President Obamaclaus. The ones who did vote for him are obviously morons.

Hmm. Lets see. The government has bankrupt Social Security and Medicare and they want to be in charge of healthcare. Yeah. That makes perfect sense. A tremendous idea.

I was garage saling a couple of weeks ago and heard this exchange. A son pulled up to his mother's house and was wearing a t-shirt without sleeves.

Mom "You cut the sleeves off that shirt? I bought that special for you and it was expensive"

Son "Well, it's gonna get dirty with or without sleeves."

Me, to myself "What the hell does that even mean?" It made my head hurt.

You have to love living here. 80 on Saturday. 45 on Monday. 72 today and a chance of snow on Saturday. Yes, the weather here is very predictable.

I love baseball and consider that I have an eye for talent. Big Papi, you aren't all that. Every time Manny was out of the line-up you were exposed and could easily be pitched around. Now that Manny has been gone for almost a season, your production has been non-existent. Oh, your defenders can come up with whatever excuse they want but the bottom line is that the moniker "greatest clutch hitter of all time" is more of a product of where and when you played and nothing else. You never had me fooled. Not for a second.

Not alll republicans are conservatives but all democrats are liberals.

Speaking of democrats. Why can't they lead? Agree with George Bush or not, he did lead. He wasn't concerned with a legacy but the future of our country. He governed in that manner. That's not to say that I agreed with what he did all the time. Quite the contrary. I believed in 2000 and believe now that GWB was and is a moderate Republican and his record all but verifies this. Before some of you anti-war protesters get on the bitch wagon remember that there is no way we would be in Iraq without support of democratic leadership. Saying that you were "mislead" or "didn't have all the facts" but voting anyway only shows how stupid democratic leadership is. If you didn't research this particular subject with 100% conviction before voting you should resign in disgrace.

To continue on the legacy theme. Lets look at President Teleprompter. He is more worried about a Palestinian state and relations with dictators than righting the economic ship and protecting our nation. Closer to home Montana's stuttering idiot of a US Senator, Max Baucus, is trying to cram a health care plan system through the Senate that virtually no on in America wants. Except Max. And the insurance companies that contributed $400,000.00 to his re-election campaign. Coincidence? I think not.

Why isn't the press complaining about the rising cost of gasoline? Gas has gone up over 20 cents a gallon since Memorial Day and not a peep. When this happened every summer under GWB the press would scream how he was helping his buddies in Big Oil. Could it be that President Bush didn't have anything to do with high gas prices and that this was all part of the left wing mainstream media? No, not at all. The members of the media have their own opinions but they report objectively. Look at Dan Rather. oops I'm sorry. The New York Times. Dang it, my bad. Katie (I got my job because I'm above average looking and swallow) Couric. Sorry, wrong again. Someone out there has to be able to come up with an example of MSM objectivity. Anyone?
When did race, sex and ethnicity become a factor when picking a Supreme Court justice? Call me Ismail but shouldn't the most important factor be how they interpet the law?

I wonder if President Barry will apologize to the Germans this weekend for invading Normandy.
This weekend is the 65th anniversary of D-Day. Take a moment on Saturday to remember the thousands who died to liberate Europe. I heard Reagan's ,speech on the 40th anniversary and it is still moving 25 years later.

What did people say before the expression "its just like riding a bike"?

I would rather have to spend a weekend with my ex-wife then play golf as poorly as I played it last night. I still almost puke in my mouth when I think about it. The golf. Oh yeah, and the ex-wife.

Does anyone watch the NHL anymore? Last year QVC had a higher market share than the hockey all-star game. Makes me giggle.

So, Ted Kennedy's son is in rehab again. I'm not trying to make light of the situation but the article I read almost had a tone of "feel sorry for him" about it. Rush hurts his back and in his recovery becomes addicted to pain pills and is crucified in the media but a U.S. congressmen whose biggest claim to fame is, unlike his dad, not killing anyone while drinking and driving checks himself into rehab for the umpteenth time and I'm supposed to feel sorry for him? Whatever happens to him and his dad they've brought on themselves.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Becoming a liberal

I have decided to abandon my conservative principles and embrace liberalism. Although it will be hard to walk away from an ideology based on facts and objectivity to join one founded upon hypocrisy and government dependence, I can no longer look myself in the mirror and feel good. An abortion doctor was murdered by some nut and his assassination rates just behind that of Kennedy and Lincoln in importance. I’ve read with great interest the letters to the editor mourning this noted baby killer and must side with the feminist movement. I mean to listen to people like Katie Cady, an abortion doctor is killed almost every day and they are as important to society as real doctors who try to cure people. I think 6 have been killed in the years since Roe v. Wade. 49 million abortions have been performed since then and Ms. Cady makes it sound like they were all performed because of stepfathers raping their twelve year old daughters. While I’m sure this isn’t the case, now that I am a liberal I won’t let things like facts get in my way. I’ll just scream and call people names because that is how we debate. Facts be damned.

The good news is I have a terrific idea for the pro-abortion crowd. They want abortion on demand and I say we step it up a notch and push for abortion by force.

Here’s how it works. Every time any woman gets pregnant, she must pass a psychological exam that determines whether or not she is mentally fit to raise a child. If, by our liberal definition of “fit” she fails, the baby is aborted. If she is fit, she must pass part two. This is where we determine if she can financially raise the child. I’m thinking she must be able qualify for a $300,000.00 loan at 5% for 25 years. Her husband’s income, if she has one, cannot be counted. After all, real liberal women don’t need men and it’s the woman’s “right to choose” so in all fairness, it should be her responsibility to financially support the child. I realize that this may seriously effect part of our voting base but it’s only a matter of time before minorities and the poor figure out that we don’t really care about them and that we just use them for votes and cushy government jobs. Let’s be honest, if we as liberals did care, our leadership would do more than donate used underwear to the Salvation Army for the tax write off.

It will be a difficult road for me to embrace the religion of abortion and liberalism in general. I guess I have to renounce my Christian beliefs as well as conservative ones. I don’t get the whole “our children are the most important part of our future but lets kill them in the womb if we get the chance” mentality of liberalism but if I wanted to question a belief system and not be publicly crucified I’d stay a conservative.

So there you have it my new friends. If you think this idea is good wait until you hear what I want to do with the sick and elderly. Two words: Soilent Green. So where do I sign up and when’s the next meeting?

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Separated at birth #1

Look everybody. TWINS!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Remember D-Day

This weekend is the 65th anniversary of D-Day. Take a moment on Saturday to remember the thousands who died to liberate Europe. I listened to President Reagan's speech on the 40th anniversary and it is still moving 25 years later.

"I don't think the heavy stuff will come down for awhile" Carl Spackler

I'm off this week for another summer drive. As I've mentioned earlier, I'm heading to Ft. Benton for a golf tournament with my great friend Dan. Dan and I grew up two blocks from each other. We've known each other since kindergarten and still talk to each other at least twice a week. I'll be staying with Dan in beautiful Big Sandy. Mapquest, as well as the map below, shows you how to get there.

The good news is that I get to play golf with Dan. The bad news is that the weather for Saturday is supposed to be "Rain and snow in the morning...then rain likely in the afternoon. Cooler. No snow accumulation. Highs 40 to 45. North winds 5 to 15 mph. Chance of precipitation 90 percent." No snow accumulation? Really? Well what the hell am I even worried about the weather for?! Its a good thing we made our tee time for 1 PM so at least we'll be playing in the heat of the day.

I'd almost rather vote for a democrat than play in those conditions. Almost.

Here's a map of my trip. I've include my other two trips as well. I'm driving up via Great Falls but will be coming back through Belt and the Smith River Valley. Its too pretty and my devoted out-of-state followers deserve to see some of this scenic country. Purple is the way up, yellow is the way back. With a population of less than one million, Montana is like a big city with really long streets.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Road Trip #2, The Flathead Valley

"A tired dog is a good dog" Bob Warwood

My Memorial Day weekend was a road trip to gorgeous Columbia Falls, Montana. I was with the Butte Girl. Her uncle has been having some medical problems and was in the hospital so we went up for a visit. He is still on the road to recovery but things look good. We headed to CF Friday afternoon. As usual, here are some photos that tell the story of my travels.

As far as I'm concerned, all good road trips begin with someone else driving. In this case, I recommend a Butte Girl. They aren't afraid to drive fast, they keep it between the lines and they carry loaded .38's in their vehicles. Its a great combination.

Sloan is ready. We've knocked a turd out of her and she is ready to hit the road. She doesn't travel as well as she used to but then who does.

The Tobacco Root Mountains. I love the Tobacco Roots. At the rate the snow is melting I won't be able to get to Mine Lake until mid-July. I like that all the farmers have their irrigation lines out and running. They'll be cutting hay in 2 or 3 weeks. I like watching the swathers and balers operate.

Butte exits coming up!! We are going to take Montana Street to go to Muzz and Stan's for a quick bite to eat.

This is Our Lady of the Rockies. It is the second largest statue in Montana and the largest Madonna in the United States. I'm not going to go into an entire history of Butte for all of you non-Montanans but suffice it to say that the copper mine in Butte made Montana. Butte had a population of 120,000 people at the turn of the 20th century and was one of the largest cities west of the Mississippi. Although its on the west side of the Continental Divide I still love Butte. It has more sense of community than Bozeman, Billings, Great Falls and Missoula put together times ten. Take time to click on the link and read the story about what the people of this largely Irish community did to make this happen. They are just everyday folks like the rest of us. Its a good story.
Two happy girls.
Butte Girl "you aren't going to put these pictures on your blog are you?"
Me, "Of course not."

Muzz and Stan's Freeway Bar and Grill.

Muzz and Stan's world famous Wop Chop. Now this is a porkchop sandwich. Just the right amount of mustard, onions and pickles and big enough for two people looking to split a sandwich. (I could have eaten the whole thing). You have to love Butte, America. You can still call a sandwich a "Wop Chop" and no one gets offended. Not even the Wops.

"Are we there yet?" She wants to stand up so badly and take in the entire trip but her old legs just can't hold her up as long as they used to.

We decided to get off the interstate at Garrison and take the backroads into Columbia Falls. It was a pretty drive.

The Blackfoot River was pretty swollen at the time. Its come down a little bit but the Clark's Fork, which it feeds, is still close to flood stage.
I'm not sure which mountain range this is and don't really care. You see, back in the 19th century the western boundary of Montana was supposed to be the Continental Divide but the mapmakers got drunk and drew a crooked line that remained our permanent western boundary. Its the reason Idaho is only 13 miles wide at the top. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't really feel that I have to claim the western part of the state where all the liberal faggot hippies live just because a couple of guys couldn't hold their booze 130 years ago. I ain't gonna. Except for Butte and Anaconda. These mountains are pretty though.

Sloan is a traitor. I feed her. I pay all her bills and she latches onto Butte Girl like they've been lifelong best friends.

The Duke (aka MRM) in a Tigeresque fist pump after draining a 30 footer to save par. It was Sunday so I was wearing red and black just like Eldrick. I wasn't cussing and pouting as much as he does.

The result of going for the par 5 7th hole in two shots. I can't remember the last time I had a chance to reach a par 5 in 2 shots so I had to go for it. The result is, in golfers lingo, being "treefucked". Hmmmmmmmm. I see an 8 in my future. I think that shirt makes me look fat.

The daunting par 3 16th hole at the Meadow Lake Golf Club. If you don't clear the water you bring in 6 you bring in 7.

Almost a perfect setup at the top. Just a beautiful looking golf swing.

Eyeing my chip for birdie. Made a four and was happy as hell.

Our accomodations for the weekend. Meh, they'll do. I mean honestly. Could anyone reading this want to stay here? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Look at this place. Look at the glass atrium in the background. Its awesome!

From the outside. Again. I think we'll manage just fine.

Sloan checking the area for grizzly bears.

This is Flathead Lake. It is the largest natural fresh water lake west of the Mississippi. Just ask my sister. She knows that. It only cost her $20. TWENTY BUCKS LP!!!!! Nothing tastes better than free booze. "Yellowstone is bigger than Flathead" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. As if.

I must have said something funny. I just can't help it. I'm a funny SOB.

Sloan checking out the view of the Flathead Valley.

The view coming into Polson. How would you like to wake up to this every morning? Those are the Mission Mountains in the background.

The Mission Mountains.

This is a quick photo of Missoula. The crummiest town in all of Montana. I'm not sure but I think Missoula is Flathead Indian for "shithole where people dont shave or bathe". The streets wander aimlessly. They change names mid-street. There is no rhyme or reason to its planning. Its home to the only Hooters in America where shaving your armpits if you work there is optional. Hippies, hippies everywhere. Its also home of the University of Montana and their predominantly overrated football team. Remember, you can't spell scum without the UM. If God was going to give Montana an enema, He'd put the tube in Missoula. But I digress.

The Pintler Mountains by Anaconda.

A view of uptown Butte and the Berkeley Pit. The pit is 1 1/2 miles wide and 1800 feet deep. It was at one time the largest open mine pit in the world.

A picture of a gallus frame by the Butte Girl's house. These were used to lower miners underground back in the old days. There are something like 12 of them still standing in Butte.

The Bridger Mountains and almost home. Won't be long now.

Well that's about it. Road Trip #4 is scheduled for this weekend when I head to Ft. Benton/Big Sandy for the Steamboat Classic. It's supposed to be cold and rainy. It could be the drizzle I've been looking for.