Random Thoughts #4

Things that cross my mind while wondering if it's too late for me to go to Hollywood and become a famous screenwriter/actor/director.

Best line of the week that wasn't mine. "He doesn't know his ass from a hot rock" The Prodigy.

Isn't it odd that democrats are asking for unity and bipartisanship now that President Teleprompter is in office? Honestly, was there a bigger time in our history when they were more obstructionist than the last eight years? Can you imagine how much money is going to be spent in the next four years? If Obama was a conservative black man instead of an ultra-liberal the headlines at the NYT would read "Uncle Tom to take oath, no one cares."

I like Jello pudding snack pacs.

The mission statement of the website What Would Tyler Durden Do "'What Would Tyler Durden Do" is a blog focused on bringing you the latest gossip and news about rich and famous celebrities and then making fun of them. Why? Because fuck them, that's why"
Its so wise in its own way.

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'." Bob Newhart

Day 2 of President Barry's reign and he hasn't done a god damn thing. I thought he was the savior? Isn't it sad that the leader of this great nation won't wear a flag pin on his lapel and that his wife hates America? Yes, yes it is.

I know I'm getting old because I'm starting to like Air Supply. Even sadder is that I can sing most of the lyrics. I think I've said that once before. When you never stop talking its hard to remember everything you say.

Lets see, in Minnesota Al Franken is learning from Al Gore's mistakes on how to steal an election and is about to become a US Senator. First Jessie Ventura, now this. Minnesota, you are the worst state in the union. It's not even close. Sorry but its true.

Meanwhile in Illinois, the governor there had Barry's Senate seat up for sale. He did everything but list it on ebay including talking to Barry's advisers but no one is investigating Barry. Nope. He had an "internal" investigation which revealed no wrong doing. Whew. I sure feel better. Doing an internal investigation? Wow. If that kind of logic had been used in OJ's last trial, OJ would have been the prosecuting attorney. "Your honor, there is no evidence against me." Judge "Well then, case dismissed."

Our Secretary of State is married to the most corrupt politician in the last 50 years, a man who has taken millions of dollars of foreigner's money, but I'm sure there won't be any conflicts of interest. After all, when Hillary was first lady and the FBI asked her for some documents she promptly handed them over 6 1/2 years later.

And in New York a woman being seriously considered for the Senate seat to replace Queen Thunderthighs has only one qualification and that is this: her father was killed while being president. That's it. Caroline has less qualifications than a Walmart greeter. Her father is the most overrated president in HISTORY. I'll stand by that all day. He served 2 1/2 years, gave some good speeches but didn't do a whole lot else. Don't give me the Cuban missile crisis either. The Russians pulled out after we removed a bunch of missiles in Greece and Turkey. Not hardly a stare down. Fran Drescher wants the seat and should be more seriously considered than Caroline. Honestly, I would get drunk for a week if a bomb went off in the Kennedy compound and killed everyone one of them. American royalty my ass. If making money by bootlegging and running drugs is American royalty, then we all owe John Gotti and apology. UPDATE: Princess Caroline has withdrawn her name for consideration. I'm surprised but happy. Still wouldn't be unhappy about the bomb thing though. Not very Christian I know, but its for the greater good.

I'm going to take $200 out of my savings this week and buy ammunition with it. Hardly a stockpile I know but its a start. I suggest any gun owners who haven't already done this, do the same. Barry may not take our guns but he is going to make it damn hard to shoot them.

Less than 24 days til the Daytona 500.

When I was a kid, my dad would shave every night before he went to work. Every once in a while, he would give me one of his razors without a blade in it. He'd lather me up and I'd take the empty razor and scrape the foam off. It was so cool. I could hardly wait to shave. Now I have to do it every fucking day and it sucks. Its about the only time my Dad kept the truth from me. I think he knew how big a pain in the ass it was and it was his way of playing a joke on me. Funny yet cruel. I'd grow a beard except it's so gray now that I'd look like a skinny Santa Claus.

My brother's chest hair starts where he stops shaving. Hairy he is. He's not getting any skinnier either. He's not fat though, just short for his weight.

Two of my goals for this year are to get my handicap in the teens and put 500 miles on my four wheeler.

Is it possible that I'm so charming that women are afraid of me? Or is it mostly the sexist comments I can't help but make? I'm not sexist. I love women. If I had one of my own I'd even let her out of the house for more than grocery shopping. What can I say, I was raised to be a gentleman.

Olivia Newton-John is singing on XM right now. I know there were a few women in the 70's who were hotter, but not many. She's easily in the top ten for the decade. Schawing!!

You know your weekend sucks when you're already looking forward to watching the Lumber Liquidators PBA on ESPN.

Its a shame that anyone who will criticize the president the next four years will automatically be called a racist. "The emperor has no clothes!"

Speaking of clothes. I didn't get to see Barry accept the crown and scepter as he ascended to the thrown of, whoops, I forgot that in America we elect our leaders. Its the MSM who thinks that he is the new king. They will protect him as such. Anyway, back to the clothes. Its funny how Michelle Obama is already being called a "fashion icon". I guess the people who are calling her that watched the inauguration in black and white. That puke green dress she wore was hideous. Fashion icon. Her clothes look like they're from Mugatu's Derilique collection.

I saw "Dark Knight" last Saturday. Excuse me if I say it wasn't all that. Heath Ledger was alright but if he wasn't dead, he definitely would not have received an academy award nomination. He was much better in "10 things I hate about you." Just another reason why I stay away from the theaters. That and because I'm cheap.

I saw a woman today that I've know for several years. She is very beautiful. Today I noticed that she is also very stacked. I mean Rackajawea stacked. Funny as she never used to be. I'm not complaining. Not in the least. Just find it interesting. Looks like she put that divorce settlement money to good use. God bless her.

Answer: ACLU headquarters, anywhere in Hollywood, my ex-wife's house, the United Nations, anywhere in France.
Question: What are some places I would like to see Al Queda firebomb?

I don't sleep very much at night anymore. I should use that time to do more quality blogging, but as you all know I'm lazy.

The older I get the more I believe in timing. I've never been a big believer in fate. It makes it sound like our lives our predetermined and we have no control. I do believe that timing is a crucial element in life however. Be prepared for opportunity and braced for the unfortunate. Its the difference between success and failure for the former and happiness and heartbreak for the latter.

One of the biggest differences between conservatives and communists, excuse me, liberals, is the resentment that libs have for individual success. Liberals hate the fact that people can succeed without government help. They don't mind if they themselves have money. Money they don't donate to charities or the needy. They just don't want to see people of lesser means rise up and be equal. Its why they've never helped black America. Keep their bellies full and the votes will always come in. If the people who are dependant on government learned they could feed themselves this country would take on an entirely different look.

The 70's were the greatest decade for music. Its not even an argument. Ballads, great rock, soft pop even good disco. In the 80's music began to fragment and presently there is some good stuff out there but its hard to find.

This is how old I am getting. On XM I listen to a lot of Classic Rewind. Some song came on last week from 1984. I started yelling at the radio that the song wasn't a classic. Then I did some math and realized that its 25 years old. What a drag.

The weekend is here. I wish everyone could work with me on Friday. I'm like an entirely different person. Maybe its because I work so hard andI know I need a break. Or maybe its because I know at the end of the day there is a glass of whiskey waiting for me. Take the bet on the last one.

Chip