Random thoughts #18

Things that crossed my mind while wondering how much it would cost to buy a Russian woman.

Somebody buy my house so I can move to Sheridan and schlep drinks for The Prodigy.  TP has a project he is getting underway and I'm ready for a change.  Need to sell my little townhouse before I go.  Somebody reading this wants to move here so cough up the dough and help a brother out.

I have 34 first cousins on my mom's side of the family and 25 on my dad's.  How many people can say they have 59 first cousins. Not counting Mormon's.  My cousin Pat (mom's side) is a grizzly fan.  Other than that he's good shit. He knows every cousin.  Where they are, what they are doing, how many kids they have and most of their names. Hi is the true "keeper of the flame" for our late grandparents.  Its remarkable.

Speaking of my cousins.  Pat's sister Mary is a doll. The youngest of four and the only girl, she is a good conservative, which separates her from the rest of the family.  At 5'0" she was an all-state basketball player.  She's funny and smart and I talk to her more than her brother.

My old dog turned 15 this month.  She's deaf now and it breaks my heart.  Her eye's don't twinkle when I ask her if she wants to go for a walk.  She has a look on her face that says "why won't you talk to me".  I hope she dies in her sleep.  The thought of having to put her down is hard for me to take.

I'm usually having a Crown when I'm writing my "random thoughts' and Wednesday night when I wrote this in my notebook was no exception.  When you read this post I'll be sober.  Probably.

Can someone in the blogoshere tell me how to copyright a story?  I'm working on a novella and don't want someone to steal a life story and sell it to ABC's Afterschool Special.

Playing cards in Billings Friday with Skeets, Delm, and Jimmy.  It will be fucking awesome! We've known each other for 42 years.  Thank you 21st century technology for letting us talk to each other almost every day.

Life is like a bunch of chocolates except there's no Crown in them.  So that sucks.

I would like to sneak into President Barry's teleprompter and change a speech. Put in a line something like "Eye em we Todd did.  Eye em sofa king we Todd did.  My dixie wrecked."  Good times.

If you want to look at liberal hypocrisy you need to look no further than Sarah Palin.  Whether you agree with her or not, she is smart, funny and pretty hot.  If she were a dumbocrat we would be hearing about how smart she is, like they did with Hillary.  The democrats do not have an answer for her so they vilify her at every turn.  They should be afraid.  She is more popular than any democrat on planet earth including the waste of skin in the Whitehouse.

I need to watch more TV.  No not really. I will say that "Human Target" and "Justified" are awesome.

Playing golf Saturday at the Laurel Country Club with Cheese. Told me he's hitting a faded three-wood off the first tee and will birdie the first two holes.  I told him he's full of shit.  The guy can't hit the "high butter." Can't.  It's not in his game. He'll be double-crossed pull hooking it into the tall trees.  I'm predicting a Tigeresque club throwing tantrum by whole humber five. It'll be nice to leave with some of his money in my pocket.  Me, well lets just say that I have a feeling that Doctor Fairway will be making a few calls at the Laurel Country Club.  I can see it now, Cheese blowing it by me by 30 yards, telling me to get my hands higher then him hitting a 90 yard approach shot right in the forehead and  40 yards over the green. Its a summer tradition.

Been going to the gym.  Its a good thing they expanded. Wouldn't want them to not have enough weights for me to throw around.  Get your tickets early ladies. Just sayin.