Thursday, April 29, 2010

TP and Netters

Just got off the phone with The Prodigy.  The MoFo is in Arizona with his lovely wife.  They are celebrating their 10th anniversary. It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years.  They had their ceremony in Hawaii on the beach. Then in July (or was it June) they said their vows in a church to the delight of their parents and grandparents. That's where this story takes place.

Its not the drunkest I've ever been.  It's the drunkest I've ever been ushering at a wedding in a tuxedo though.  You see, as they were already married, we decided to play golf on the wedding day.  We went to Buffalo to play 18.  My brother-in-law drove out from New York and was our DD.  We were on about the 12th hole when we ran into TP's physical therapist.  He's a guy about TP's age and was golfing with his best friend Skinny.  Things were a little backed up so Skinny and the p.t. went back to the clubhouse to get more beer as we could tell that there wasn't going to be near enough.  We were right.  We stopped at the therapists house on the way back as his liquor cabinet was full and, well, we had a couple more.

We finally get back to TP's house and we are more than half in the bag.  "Holy shit, there's champagne in your living room."  "Open up a bottle".  So we did.  By this time there are about 8 people at the house.  We run through the shower and get our monkey suits on.  Wedding's at 7, we've been drinking since noon, but like I said, they were already married.  Well it's after six and we are cleaned and ready.  There is only one problem.  There's no bride.  No Netters.  She is a major player in the ceremony so she really needs to show up.  She's not at the church because her dress is hanging in the bedroom.  The good news is that there is still plenty of champagne so we have some more.

Netters makes it.  Jumps in her dress and we head to church.  Johnny Coke and I are ushers and when we get to the church there is this huge line of people waiting to be seated.  JC and I raced them to their seats.  Man we were really getting them in their pews in record time.  Gary, my brother-in-law swears he saw sparks coming of TP's grandmother's shoes when I seated her in the church.

Well, everything went off without a hitch.  I drank water most of the night from there on out as I was having a spot of trouble with the King's English.  We even left some champagne for the reception.  Can't quite remember but I think we drank a 1/2 case on the front steps waiting for Netters.

Anyway it's already been 10 years since we did that.  Wow.  More good times ahead.

Congratulations Tim and Lynette.  Your great friends and make life that much more fun. 


moi said...

Drunk Golf is my favorite game. Whomever invented the Cart Girl? Buy that person a drink.

Milk River Madman said...

I've found that beer, whiskey and golfing go with a lot of great recreating.

I love this country song about these guys out fishing and drinking beer and their boat sings. There's the lyric in it that goes "now too drunk to fish is to drunk to swim".