Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Top Chef week 2

Had a work call come in right as the show was starting so I only know that Mike B wins the Quickfire and the 15 large. As noted by Chef Troll last week the amount of people with tattoos this season is very high. We aren't talking about "I love Suzy" on a bicep or a rose pedal above the pantie line but full on arm sleeves, wrap around neck gear and cleavage art from armpit to armpit. And that's just the chicks.

I have a tattoo. A small one on my left ankle of the Cincinnati Reds. Ralph has the Boston Red Sox in the same place as does Jimmy with the St. Louis Cardinals. You can see mine if you're in the shower with me (are you reading this Padma?) or when I'm golfing and that's about it.

Tonight's challenge is a men vs. women affair. Men cooking for a bachelorette party and women for a bachelor party. Chefs are cooking and my feeling is that the women will lose this battle. It's pretty gay actually. Speaking of gay, Ashley is making a political statement about how hard this competition is for her because she is gay and can't get married. Just shut up and cook. I want my ex-wife to weigh 400 pounds and I'm not going to get my way. Life's hard. Deal with it. I'm starting to think that Ashley is gone already. She's losing her focus.

Holy shit! Preeti just said that she is gay. I didn't totally see this coming and I'm not overly surprised but kind of bummed. She's a nice enough looking gal who just needs to grow her hair out. My gaydar should have went off last week when she said her vice was a "Makers Mark Manhattan". Not a lot of "ladies" drink bourbon.

Ashley is still bitching about not being able to get married. The sooner her whiny ass is gone the better. Padma just showed up. The gals from the bachelorette party are getting into bikinis. Please, oh please, let Padma get into a bikini. C'mon God, You know I don't ask for much.

After watching all the food sampling, I'm thinking that the men are on the spot and that one of them will be gone. Afterall, a woman went home last week and Bravo has to keep it even.

A U2 commercial is on about Blackberries. God, I hate Bono. I just want to bitch slap those fucking glasses off his face, grab him by the throat and just start bashing his face. Then I'd, oh, commercial is over.

Padma is calling four men to the judges tables so they are the winners. Bryan is the overall winner. So I'm wrong about a man going home. That doesn't happen very often. His brother won the Quickfire. I can't wait for one of them to go home. Sick of the the whole brother thing already and it's only week two. By the way, if you think its a mere coincidence that they are on the same season, you are retarded.

Pierced lips Jessie is crying as gets her dish raked over the coals. Eve is next. She sounds like JarJar Binks when she talks. "Mesa think my disha gooda". I know a few people from Michigan and they talk pretty normal but its almost as if English is a second language for her. Preeti is holding her own against the judges and Ashley is not looking so good. Making two dishes probably wasn't her bet move. It's going to be a tough call but I'm changing my prediction to Jessie.

Eve is hasta la vista baby! Wow, twice in one episode that I erred in my judgement. I'd better check my bible to make sure that isn't on of the signs of the Apocalypse. Eve takes it like a champ though. No whining, a smile on her face and wishes the best to everyone. If I were Jessie or Ashley, I would spend as much time on The Strip as I could because neither of them is long for this competition. Padma doesn't get naked or even in a bikini. Sigh. Maybe next week.


pamlovesU2 said...

Great review of the show! I can't believe your gaydar didn't go off over the one girl -- I mean really, she looks like the Indian version of that controversial runner but without all the muscles (recently in the news). I hope great things for you in the Padma department ;) I'll take Bono (or Adam) and you can have Padma. Deal?

TROLL Y2K said...

I wouldn't hire fat chick with piercings to cook on the night shift at Waffle House.

Horribly dull episode so I did a Ted Kennedy tribute instead.

Milk River Madman said...


I'm a little disappointed in myself on Preeti as well. I will patiently wait for Padma. Bono? Really? I still like you.


I think she's gone next week. The point made by Gail was very valid and the reason I thought Piercelips was gone and that is she can't execute. I can read a recipe and try hard but if it sucks it sucks. That's where Jessie is.