Bobbie Hauckaloogie

I received this email last week. It was written by an alum from the University of Washington. Evidently, Coach Bobbie is starting the rumors about where he is going much earlier this year than normal. Don't you worry griz fans. He isn't going anywhere.

I've left the name off this letter intentionally. Thanks to Brian A for the email.

BOBBY HAUCK - THE FINAL CASE AGAINST -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've grown weary of the Hauck family members and those with no ability to look inside the numbers showing up here and trying to foist that hack on this program, thus it's time to outline what truly has occurred in Montana and why he would fail miserably in Seattle.

Let’s have a look at the evolution of the Montana program. They rarely won anything of real value in football up until 1991 when a man who had failed miserably at Oregon and Portland State ran headlong into one of the most incredible pieces of luck a coach has ever encountered. A dozer operator turned billionaire decided that he was tired of watching games while perched on rusted out benches and made it a point to turn Montana into a massive power in their division by fronting the cash for what would be one of (if certainly not the best) venues in the country at that level.

The stadium opened up in 1986 and Don Read went from 6-4 to 6-5 to 8-4 to 11-3. Every kid in Montana and the surrounding area wanted to play there, and the word was getting out to those with skills who might have been passed over, tossed away, or never found. Read had his usual lull for a few years thereafter (not even MT could contain his odd ability to sink in sand) until the recruiting had become so easy that even he could maintain the W/L record at 10+ every year.


He won the National Championship in 1995. Don frickin’ Read. Was it his great coaching? Of course not. The guy’s track record before he got that stadium made Willingham’s read like a dream. He retired as a comical hero, never seeming to fully understanding or perhaps acknowledge that he could write all the passing books in the world, but that would never change the fact that he was a pure hack before they laid the stone on the new field.

A Neanderthal from the central regions took over the reigns and proceeded to pull out a picture of that stadium each time he needed to recruit a new linebacker. He went to the playoffs each year and tanked the Championship game in 1996 – on the fumes of the Read team, of course. See where this is heading? Mick Dennehy felt haughty, he felt invincible, he felt he could win anywhere. Utah State fired him after a few years, and last I heard he was an admin. for some Podunk town near the big river.

Enter Cowboy Joe Glenn. A guy with a proven record of winning at two different levels. A guy who could charm and recruit with the best of them. Not that this was essential as even he realized that the $ Montana could put forth each year to subsidize the playoffs almost guaranteed and appearance. Play the usual patsies, beat up on the joke of a conference you were in, and raise hell when the real season arrived.

Hired guns now started looking to Montana as the Best of the Best of Last Chances. Ex-BYU ringer and QB Drew Miller made the competition look like the joke you would expect and, even after losing him, Glen still made it to the Quarters before pulling a Dennehy and heading to another hell hole that would give him little chance to succeed.

Montana yet again needed a new coach. Who better than an unproven assistant best known for being Rick Neuheisel’s bagman. The guy who was one of the first on the phones to Colorado and amassing violations the second he stepped foot in Washington air space. What the hell? He was from Montana, and the process of selecting a coach who had actually shown he could win the truly important games was simply unnecessary. Hell, Ty Willingham could bring the best to the school now. What could possibly go wrong and why does Hauck suck when it comes right down to it?

Let’s start with the number of the conference Montana plays in. A quick check at CFB DW and some rapid # crunching shows that the teams in the Big Sky conference are a combined 186-245 during the first 5 years of Hauck’s stint. The teams are 43-45 this year thus all holds up nicely for our purposes.

186-245…….. This doesn’t even include the laughable non-conference games they play against the likes of Fort Lewis and Southern Utah. With competition like this is it any wonder that a school that even remotely cares about giving money to its football program could end up with a reasonable record, win the conference, and get to the playoffs almost every year? Certainly not.


What has he done with this gold-plated currency in his 5 years? 3 1st-round playoff failures, one semifinal, and one appearance in the championship game in 2004 on the backs of Joe Glenn’s recruits. This is a horrid performance when you consider the fact that Montana holds all of the advantages. When you lose to Wofford? at home after having yet another “fabulous” regular season of 11-1 you have some serious issues.

Do you like thugs? Do you think we should even consider hiring someone who has the slightest tinge of difficulty with felons after what transpired the past few years? If you do, then Bobby is certainly your guy.

Let’s start with J.D. Drew. JD was a beast of a lineman best known for cribbing checks he hadn’t earned. Bobby was all over his ass to get him to Missoula, despite other stories of idiocy and a known incident involving booze. Guess what? Drew managed to get himself 2 more DUI’s during his tenure at MT, he weaseled his way out of both, and Bobby still thinks he should be on the team. This we can do without.

How about curb stompings? Just last month 3 idiots who think they run that school got caught on camera sucker punching and gang smashing a kid. These guys had barely been on campus for a month. Hauck tried to write it off as not a big deal. Well, Bob, the problem is that you have been running a dirty program now for some time and have clearly hit the “lack of institutional control” point of your career long before this.

A guy named Jimmy Wilson decided it was OK to blow away someone rather than let the system do its thing. Nice thought, but not the way to approach things.


His good buddy Quentin Freeman was another piece of work who has a record stretching from Arizona to the NW. Hauck had to admit he knew his record but clearly the thought of getting another Pac-10 dropdown overrode anything else.

How about the 3 players who were popped for kidnapping, burglary, assault with a deadly weapon, and robbery? Bobby claimed that he was “sickened” but he has used this word in the past regarding his thugs and undoubtedly will again very soon as he just keeps bringing them in.

Numerous other stories, publicly known and well-known to those with ties to the program, make you wonder how the idiot still has a gig. Do you want the Times back up the ass of the program in very short order? Call for Hauck as the next coach.


Do we really need to even get into his issues with recruiting violations? He was Rick’s point man in Colorado, people. Nothing changed when he came here and he certainly has not learned his lesson since then.


It’s really quite simple, people. The UM administration always looks to hire from the state if at all possible. Bobby Hauck was brought on because he happened to be from Montana and had experience shoveling for a coach with some success. He inherited a program that had been to the playoffs 10 years in a row and had just come off a Championship 2 years earlier. He walked into what is almost without question the nicest stadium in 1-AA – ask those who are calling for a new Husky Stadium how important that is in recruiting the best. His predecessor did far more in 3 years than he has accomplished in 5+, yet for some reason people feel that he should take over the reins of a truly storied program because he has won against a putrid Big Sky with insane resources at his disposal. Flash: every coach there does that now and will continue to do so after he is no longer there.

Hauck is not and never will be the guy to lead this team. Willingham would have about the same record at Montana, and I guarantee Hauck would do about as well here as Ty.